Falling in Love with a Picture...

From the day we put Anna on "hold," our lives began to change. We had a picture of her and a very short biography... Something like, "She was an interesting girl. She actually sang a solo for the interview team! She loves the color pink, likes to read and knit, loves to sing, she loves cats, is scared of big dogs, and wants to learn basketball while she is here." That was enough for us to fall head-over-heels with her. Well, with her picture and bio at least.

We didn't know quite what to expect and were always cautioned to not have super expectations of this amazing, sweet little obedient child... Because sometimes, they're not. Sure, they're all smiles in their pictures... but how many pictures do you send to other people where you aren't smiling? Still, there was something about her. Something tender... and we fell in love.

Perhaps at first I was more in love than Josh. I was trying to figure out in my mind what I thought she would be like.
She sang a solo for the interview team... so she must have some confidence.
She has a tenderness to her smile... I really think she is going to be sweet.
She is a teenager... uh oh. That's okay! I've worked with teenagers on numerous occasions! I love that age!
She likes reading and knitting... maybe she's a homebody? Maybe she likes just spending time chilling out.
Who knows!
All I knew was that I was loving this child as desperately as I love my son. I started developing a fierce protective feeling. I wanted her here sooner because I didn't want her to be so far away from us. I wanted to hug her, comfort her, and be a mommy to this sweet-looking child.

A few weeks into our fundraising, and a few weeks of building up love for this child (which came, surprisingly naturally) I asked Josh what he would think of us adopting Anna if she fit really well into our family.

"No."

Okay. Got it. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. We're just hosting. Just helping an orphan over Christmas. It's temporary. We can't do anything more than temporary.

With that in mind, I kept the adoption idea pushed aside, but for some reason, it kept creeping up on me. We have some dear friends who are adopting from Eastern Europe and I've always admired their love for the fatherless. Adoption has always been something in the far back corner of my mind... so I wasn't surprised it was a thought that kept coming back to me... and it did... it just kept coming back.

Just out of curiosity (because we've never looked into adoption, knew nothing about how it worked, have ever had interest in it, etc...) I called the adoption agency to find out more about Anna. Was she even available for international adoption? What are the costs involved? Were we even eligible?

I don't even remember our entire conversation. I just remember her saying, "Ukraine has a 15-year age-gap requirement."
Huh?
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She elaborated. Ukraine requires both parents to be 15 years older than the child they are pursuing for adoption. Sometimes they can make it happen if only one parent is only 15 years older...

For the first time in my life, I wished I was older. I fell one year short of this age gap and my husband is younger than me.

I guess that settles that.

I told Josh about how I called the agency because I was curious, informed him of the age-gap law... and we left it at that. God just wanted us to host this child.

Nevertheless, I was building a strong bond with this picture. This girl I'd never met before. This child who needed security, love... family.
I was starting to wish that family could be us.