Becoming тато

When Anna was first with us, she had a hard time bonding with Josh. The last week in December was the first time Аня (Anna) really started to talk to Josh and show a more goofy side with him. She was always very clingy to me and very reserved with Josh. I will never forget the night we were all in the kitchen playing with the play-doh and she started teaching us some Ukrainian. She found Josh's attempts at Ukrainian absolutely hilarious and really started accepting him into her life at that point. She had a funny relationship with him. She didn't call him Josh, instead, she called him, "Sleepy." Rightly so! Josh had been working long hours at work and often came home looking very tired. She also would talk back to him. Many times, jokingly, she would say, "No, Sleepy!" Even when Josh wasn't telling her to do something. At that point, she didn't know many other English words, but it got to be a bit excessive and disrespectful, so we had to translate to her that she needs to be respectful and be kind. Immediately, she did as we asked and her relationship changed. We were becoming more of a "mom" and "dad" figure rather than just a fun couple she was hanging out with. That was one of the only times we had to confront her actions and she handled it very well and with a great attitude.

 

From day 1, I was "мама" to her and quickly became a more endearing term. She clung to me. When Josh would get home from work, she would sometimes overshadow Josh by trying to hug me first when Josh walked in. It eventually calmed down and I made a point to go hug Josh right away. We felt it was important for her to see that we cared for each other and then her and Aden. We were never harsh about it, but we were deliberate. She understood and eventually, she embraced our after work "welcome home." However, Josh was still "Sleepy."

  I don't remeber exactly what day it was, but one day... a sunny afternoon... kind of out of the blue... Josh became "тато." 

That. was. huge. 

HUGE! 

It was nearing the end of hosting and she was walking down the stairs and turned around because she forgot something or wanted to tell Josh something - I can't remember... but I remember she was trying to get Josh's attention and quickly said, "Тато!" Which made Josh and I both stop briefly and smile at one another. This moment, though fading in my memory, was important. Every day, she was getting closer, opening up more, allowing us in to her life... and we were blessed. 

  Anna never got super close with Josh, but they had a special relationship. He was someone important to her, you could tell. She continually got more comfortable with him during her time with us... and it was incredible for me to see my husband be a nurturing father to this teenage girl who needed a special kind of father's love. For a man who was not so sure he even wanted to host... it was inspiring for me to see his heart change towards her. He went from a person who showed mild concern for an orphan girl to a man fiercely protective of a teenager he wanted to be able to call his own. His care for her extended far beyond what I ever thought possible. 

Because we decided to host Anna, I was blessed - as a wife - to see into the depths of my husband's heart. I was able to get a peak into a part of his soul that I had never seen before. 

Because we hosted - 

WE were blessed! 

WE were changed! 

WE grew! 

If it was that impacting for us... I can only imagine what kind of soul-stirring, life-altering impacts it has on these children!

I often think of the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive." I hate to say that Anna got the short end of the stick in this hosting - because we know she didn't... however, we feel as though we have been blessed in ways that are completely unexplainable. Sometimes when we think about her, we just take some time to thank God for her life.

Each person has a purpose in this world. No matter their "status." Orphan or wealthiest person alive...

Each person has the unique ability to change someone else's life - even if they don't realize they're doing it. 

Essentially, God used Anna to change our lives. We pray, we were used to change hers.

This entire experience is completely unexplainable... no matter how many words I type or things I say - I just can not convey just what has happened to our family. From the deepest, most intimate parts of our souls - we are thankful for the lessons we learned, the challenges we faced, and the focus that has been changed. 

The Best Night of Her Life

It was finally the New Year and we were having a great time at home and going on small trips around the area. On Sunday, January 6th, we took a day trip up to Camp Forest Springs to go sledding and snow boarding. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we were excited to get up there! That morning, we went to church and I translated the gospel to her again (as I did every Sunday). Since she didn't understand what the pastor was preaching, I just told her the basics. Each week I would do that so that she would understand more about Christ. She seemed to have a bit of a religious background and she nodded to show that she understood what I was saying. Many times she would smile and get excited when I told her things about Jesus. He was common ground. I think she knew of Him, but didn't yet know Him personally.

After church, we headed up to the camp. Our family had never been there before, but we had heard great things about it. We were pleasantly surprised when we arrived. The sledding hill looked crazy, there was a decent ski hill, and they even had lessons for first time skiiers and snowboarders. The lessons were nice, but with a non-English speaker... it made it a little more difficult. No worries. Josh, my fearless and talented snowboarding husband happily agreed to teach her. He took her up the small slope, helped her get her board strapped to her boots, and showed her over and over again how to get up, stand the right way, and glide down the hill. He would snowboard backwards while she would come clumsily down the hill. It was a small hill, so each trial was only a few seconds long, but we could tell that she was LOVING it! I took a few pictures of her standing up and boarding down. She was proud of what she was accomplishing. She never got to a point where she wanted to go down the hill on her own, but she was such a good sport and really enjoyed learning! I was proud of her just for being willing to try it! 

After the snowboarding, we had a turn at sledding. The hill was a bit... ummm... scary. I had my 3-year-old with me and I was a bit nervous taking him down the big hill. We tried it... and as we were airborne, I decided that was the last time we'd go down. I had Aden on top of me in a tube and it was just not something with which I felt comfortable. Anna wasn't a huge fan either, not because it was a scary ride down, but because it took too long to get up the hill!! There was a pulley that tugged the tubes (with the people) up the hill and it went slowly. She didn't like that and only went down the hill a couple times. We stayed outside for quite a while. Josh scooted away for a little bit to snowboard down the big hill a few times. We watched him do the jump and Anna would say "ooooh," and "aaaaah," as Josh came flying down the hill. We were all impressed. I have a pretty cool husband. :) 

We finished by spending some time inside and drinking hot chocolate. It was a fabulous afternoon. That night, we had already planned to watch a movie. So, we headed home and ate some dinner. 

After dinner, we all snuggled on the couch in the basement and watched the Jesus film. We were excited to watch the movie because it was actually in her language! Josh and I watched it in our language on my iPod while her version played on the tv. It was old. It seemed really corny. It was long.

 It changed her life. 

We were about half way through when it was Aden's bedtime. Aden had been enamored with her version of the movie and was sitting like a champ during the first half. We paused it and put Aden to bed. We were going to turn it off and watch the second half another time, but she begged us to watch more. She had never so sincerely asked for anything else before. She was completely hooked. Personally, I didn't think she would like it, but perhaps because it was in her language she was extra interested? Perhaps because it was Scripture after Scripture quoted? Perhaps it was because we had been talking about Jesus at church and at home when we prayed that it was all coming together? Perhaps, just perhaps, the Holy Spirit was working, churning, convicting that heart of hers?

We could not turn it off and expect to just pick it up again later... We finished it to the end. We were having some issues with it on the TV, so we went upstairs and she finished it on the computer. Josh fell asleep on the couch and I sat next to her, still watching it in English on my phone. 

It was late, probably close to midnight before it neared the end. She was not tired, she was not bored... her eyes were still glued. She was still completely interested. 

The end of the movie arrived and it gave a bit of an overview and then an invitation to Salvation. I was not expecting what happened next. The invitation ended with another invitation: an invitation to pray. As I watched in English, I saw a little head next to me bow. Her hands were folded. She prayed. Out loud, whole-heartedly, completely, sincerely prayed. She didn't care that I was sitting next to her. She mouthed the words lead by the movie and then some other things. After she said "Amen," she looked at me with the biggest smiled. At the same time, Josh semi-woke. "I think we have a new believer in the house," I quietly said to him. I'm not sure he was awake enough to understand what I said... but I was so overjoyed, I would have told him even if he was still completely asleep! I had to tell someone! Meanwhile, she was quick to go to the translation program to ask me to help her write down the words she just prayed. She wanted them written down, to keep with her. I got a piece of paper and a pen and handed them to her. We replayed the video part where it went through the prayer and she frantically wrote down the words. She was so excited. So was I! My thoughts were that, now, even though this child has no earthy father - she had just been adopted! She had been adopted into the family of God and she was now a child of the Lord! Though no earthly father claimed her, she now had a Heavenly Father! My heart was greatly at ease, but I also had more of a burden than ever for this child. She needed a family. This precious, precious child, with such a sweet and tender heart - needed an earthly family. Anna and I talked a bit about what happened and she translated a few things about how happy she was. 

That night, I tucked her in like I did every night, prayed with her, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. With tears in my eyes, I thanked the Lord for saving such a sweet soul. 

One thing I noticed about Anna is that she liked to write down her prayers. After she left our house, she left some papers on the table next to her bed. All of them ended with "amen," and I just thought they were the same prayer she had prayed that night... but I had them translated. They were all prayers she had prayed since that night. She asked God to help her with some things she was struggling with and her normalcy hit me again. She was a sinner... saved by the grace of God. Just like me. 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

After Christmas, our time seemed to just slip away! Josh went back to work a couple days before the New Year and I got into a routine with the kids.

Up around 7am.

Cuddled on the couch with Aden and Anna watching Shaun the Sheep until 7:30am.

Breakfast

Anna would then take a long bath (and usually soak our entire bathroom floor... we eventually were able to explain that she can't fill the tub to the top or it will spill over! ... and the shower curtain stays IN the shower.) :) She loved her baths.

While she took a bath I'd play with Aden and give him some special attention.

After her bath, she always wanted me to dry her hair for her. I happily agreed. Every morning.

I pulled out my straightener and curling iron a few times, too!

This would often take us to the point where we could suit up and play in the snow for a little while before lunch.

We'd make some lunch together... we'd eat... then we'd put Aden in his room for a nap.

Anna and I would often work on a puzzle while Aden slept.

By the time Aden was up, Josh would be home from work and we'd spend the time together as a family. We went out to the indoor water park a few times, we took the chaperone from Latvia bowling, we had wonderful friends visit for dinner, we went to a huge sledding hill, and some nights... we just stayed home and played play-doh and goofed off. Life was good. This little family was changing. Our hearts were growing ever so fond of this young lady. 

New Years came and went. We stayed home as a family.

A few mornings, a friend offered to watch Aden, so I took Anna to the Clay House in Weston to do some painting. She enjoyed that a lot! We ended up doing that a couple times. In fact, some gorgeous friends of ours came down from Ashland (you know who you are) to paint with her. We all had a really lovely time together. 

God was growing Josh and I closer and closer to this child. I ached to be her mumma and Josh was ready and willing to take her as his own. I checked, I rechecked, and I verified OVER and OVER with the adoption agency to find out FOR SURE we would not be able to take her into our family forever. The answer was always the same. "You're too young."

Not too young to adopt... Just not 15 years older than her... which is a country requirement.

So, we continued to advocate. With broken hearts, and minds fully committed to this girl, we advocated. We grew closer, we loved her, we prayed for her, we advocated. We saw God work. We saw what kind of love God has for children who do not have earthly parents. Week after week, we saw the Lord do mighty things. 

Time was flying. It was going by so quickly and I wanted everything to slow down! I soaked in every moment, good and bad, and I am certain - she was doing the same.

A Little Christmas Drama

As I write this, I think about the fact that this all feels like it was AGES ago, yet it also feels like it happened just yesterday! It's an odd feeling to reminisce. 

Christmas came. On Christmas Eve, we spent the time at my parent's place. It was Anna's first time at my parent's house and she quickly greeted my family. She immediately took a liking to my mom and helped her straightaway in the kitchen. Later, she was down in my parent's basement with my mom and she was enamored with some Barbie dolls my mom had in her office. My mom and I gave each other a look... We knew. Anna would go home with the beautiful Barbie dressed in a glamorous sparkling pink dress. We just had to wrap it without her knowing! I went back upstairs with Anna and my mom snuck the doll into her room. It was quickly wrapped and we were excited for her to open this special treasure! 

My family opened gifts that night and I wasn't certain how she would react. Our family doesn't do a small Christmas. No matter how much we suggested to just 'keep it simple,' it was no use. Thankfully, she handled it well. All the gift opening seemed to exhaust her (and I think she was still a bit jet lagged). We finally got to the doll. As she opened it, she didn't see what it was right away. When she turned it over, she became so visibly surprised and happy! Mom and I exchanged smiles.

We headed home before it got too late and Anna went to bed right away. We all had a great time and enjoyed our evening together.

Then came Christmas Day. 

Remember the title??? Here comes the drama. 

Anna developed a crush. Like a really super huge crush... on my brother-in-law. We tried and tried to tell her that he had a girlfriend. She was going to be coming to Christmas dinner and we didn't want her heart to be unprepared. However, we think the translation must have been poor... or perhaps she thought we were teasing her by saying, "Oh, he has a girlfriend (meaning her)!" That is NOT what we wanted to portray, but she clearly did not understand what we were trying to tell her. 

It all went down at the dinner table.

His girlfriend was running late, so we decided to start dinner without her. I don't even think we had a plate set for her, so I'm sure Anna didn't suspect another visitor. We ate and laughed and Anna was clearly a giddy teenager. Then it happened. That moment that we thought could be a possibility due to the lack of translation, but way worse than we imagined. I am pretty sure it happened in slow motion... The girlfriend entered. 

My brother-in-law got up to greet her at the door.

Anna was a bit confused at first, but caught on VERY quickly when she saw the visitor give my brother-in-law a hug and pull a chair up next to him. 

Before we could even introduce her to Anna, the connection was made.

I could physically feel her heartbreak. 

I can't even imagine how she felt! It was nobody's fault, we tried the very best we could to warn her, and yet... my heart broke for her broken heart! "She's such a normal teenage girl," kept running through my mind! 

How embarrassed she must have felt! 

How disappointing! 

That night, I didn't see her as a needy child; rather, I saw her as a typical teenage girl with a crush on a boy!! 

She retreated. No tears, just a complete and utter shut down. It was probably the longest "pouty/shut-down" moment from her the entire time she was with us, but I could TOTALLY understand it! I was not mad. In fact, I retreated with her. We sat in the living room together and I stroked her hair. I translated a couple things to her... but mostly we just sat quietly.

Everyone gave us space. Then a bit later, my mother-in-law joined us. She started making the mood much lighter and I could feel Anna's attitude shifting. 

A little while later, Josh came in. 

Then Aaron & Katie. Aaron brought the guitar and started strumming a bit. She loved it and was soon sitting on the floor with him, learning how to play some chords. All of this cheered her more and more. She was the center of our attention - and she was loving it! Marc joined us, and when we were all laughing again... My brother-in-law and his girlfriend entered. For just a moment, Anna went quiet... but then, like a switch went off... she was completely fine. 

Not only did she become a normal teenage girl in my eyes, but I was incredibly impressed by her maturity. That was it, she was over it. At least, visibly, she was over it.

The rest of the night was VERY enjoyable!! We all laughed and enjoyed each other's company... it truly was an unforgettable Christmas night! Josh and I were so blessed. Those moments we shared as a family will never be forgotten.

I think that little Christmas drama pulled us closer together. Anna let us see inside her. We could feel her hurt and know her pain. We looked at her differently, we loved her even more. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. 

Christmas Shopping!

One of the suggestions of New Horizons was to take your host child Christmas shopping so he or she could also take part in the gift-giving at Christmas time. I thought that was a fabulous idea and there were about 15 people she could lavish gifts upon. With a crisp $20 in my purse, we headed off to the dollar store.
Let me set the scene.
The Dollar Tree...a couple days before Christmas...
The majority of the ornaments were no longer available for purchase... and the "good" gifts seemed to be a bit scarce. That's what I saw.
When we walked in, I told her to pick out a gift for each person in our family. We live near my parents and Josh's parents and she knew them from visiting with them. We had also shown her pictures of my family that would be coming up for Christmas. When I told her to pick out a gift for each person, her eyes lit up! She wasted NO time to start her Christmas shopping! I would tell her a name and she would search and search, high and low, until we found what she considered the PERFECT gift for each person. I found it absolutely intriguing what she chose. All the gifts she chose were very heavily thought over, rethought, and there were many times where she would find something different and put a previously picked item back. As I said, the pickins were scarce, but it did not deter her from finding some serving tray or tree ornaments to give.
Her taste in ornaments... well, they're MUCH different than my taste in ornaments! It seemed as though the bigger, the gaudier, the most 'out there' ornaments - were the best possible finds! She was thrilled to find these and quickly added them to the cart. At times we'd re-count and realize there were 20 items rather than 15 and we'd have to go through the roll-call again to see who was getting what and put back certain items. In the short time she was here, she had developed a bit of a crush on my brother-in-law and at one point, about 5 of the gifts were designated to him... Eventually, we got it down to 15. Some of the gifts included: a gum ball machine, a broom & dust pan, a deviled egg tray, a plastic serving platter, numerous gigantic ornaments, and a few other things such the like. We did end up putting back a few things because I decided they were not suitable gifts from her - which included a pair of underwear.
We then picked out some tape, wrapping paper, and ribbon... and paid for our goodies. I let her hand the money to the cashier and she was very excited as the crisp $20 became nothing but a few coins of change. She gave the change to me and we headed home to wrap our new treasures.
She had obviously never wrapped a gift before, but was more than excited to learn!
We took almost the entire afternoon to wrap gifts and re-designate certain gifts to certain people. We played Christmas music and ate Christmas cookies and really enjoyed that special time together. She was so excited to give her gifts to everyone and I was really excited for her! What a special treat Christmas was going to be for all of us!

Sensory Overload

A few days past... It was filled with making Christmas Cookies (which she ABSOLUTELY loved), and preparing for my son's 3rd birthday and my dad's birthday (same day - his age is being left out for his benefit). :) We planned to have a small family gathering with just my family and Josh's family. The only problem was that we kind of forgot to get some stuff for the party.
One thing NHFC suggests during training, is that you NOT take your host child to Wal-mart if you can help it. Don't do it within the first few days of their arrival, especially. Why? Because it is completely overwhelming. In fact, I even get overwhelmed when I go there - and I'm "used" to that place! Unfortunately, we found ourselves needing to stop there briefly to get something for our son's birthday party... Bad idea. We knew it wasn't a great thing in the first place because it would be overwhelming, but we didn't understand how this would be displayed in Anna's actions.
She shut down.
The first few minutes we were there she did fine. We heard a few "oohs" and "aaahs." Then, after about 5 minutes, her smile was gone, she stopped talking or responding to any of our questions, and she just kind of got grumpy. She totally shut down.
We had already planned to go in and get out right away, so we were glad we didn't have to be there long. We went through the check out and a few minutes we got in the car and drove away, she was fine. In a way, I'm glad we went there. It was good to see how she reacted in a place like that and how we could take care of the situation because we figured more of that would come. Not necessarily Wal-mart, but other situations. That is how she dealt with stress and overwhelming situations. It was good to know. Remove her from the situation and let her adjust. It could have been worse, however. I don't suggest taking a host child to Wal-mart just to see how they deal with overwhelming situations. You never know what could happen...
Anyways, we got home and were ready for the next day's party. We knew our son would be getting some gifts, so we asked that his gifts would be accompanied by one for Anna as well. Our families were happy to oblige (and wanted to give her gifts anyway), so that worked out well. The night of the party, we did our traditional M&M cake decorating which includes throwing M&Ms at the cake until everyone's bowl of M&Ms are secured to the entire cake. It's fun. Anna enjoyed it, but cautiously.
The party also included some great family time. During this entire time, Anna stuck by me like I had been glued to her. Absolutely no problem with me. However, when it came to gift-time, she was pretty unsure what to do. We had almost a Wal-mart shut down again. I found out that in Ukraine, when given a gift, a person doesn't open it then and there... so, the fact that we wanted her to open her gifts in front of everyone must have been a bit strange to her. But she did it. She thanked everyone... and then she went silent. She laid on my lap the rest of the evening and fell asleep. I'm sure jet lag was still an issue, and it was a sweet time... but we were starting to see how overloading it was to her to see all these things and be given all these gifts. They were small gifts, practical gifts, things she could wear or use back in Ukraine. Thankfully, we had been warned. New Horizons did a fantastic job informing parents of what to expect when it came to overwhelming situations such as this. We knew it was unavoidable for Christmas and wanted her to know that Christmas was not about the gifts we give each other, but the greatest gift given to us - Jesus Christ and salvation through Him. I think as time passed, as she watched our family, she understood this... but within the first few days of being here, it was a bit foreign to her.

In all, we were starting to get a glimpse into this young lady's life. We were starting to see what made her tick, what excited her, what made her sad or angry. We were starting to understand that she did not care for chicken, but would eat all the sweets in the house if you let her. She was letting us get to know her, non-verbally, and we were totally in love with this child. We knew she was a special girl - sent to our family to change our lives.

Welcome to America! Welcome to your FAMILY!

Money raised: Check (well, for the most part... but we were not concerned.)
Room Prepared: Check (well, unless she actually hated the color pink)
Mentally Prepared: Check (well... as much as we could be)
It was the day before Anna arrived when it finally hit me. She was going to arrive the NEXT DAY! Our house was a mess, Aden was being a grump, and though I was excited as could be... I realized, I didn't have much time to finish getting the rest of the house ready to go!
That day was a bit of a blur. I'm pretty sure I went grocery shopping, but wasn't sure what I was getting. I had run through the training manual to the page where it talked about what foods they eat in Eastern Europe... but then on the blogs and Facebook posts, some people would write about how their host child wouldn't touch a supposedly "favorite" food. I stocked up on yogurt. Even if she wouldn't eat it, I would! Cheese, sauerkraut, bread, a bag of chips, spaghetti, and hot dogs were also on the list. Aside from food, I grabbed a box of (name brand) gallon-sized Ziplock bags... You probably don't want to know why, but you'll find out later.
After shopping, un-grumpifying Aden, and making sure everything was as prepared as it could be... I tried to sleep, but all my new Facebook friends who were also hosting were welcoming their kids that night; so I found myself constantly reading the updates on the New Horizons group page, watching the pictures pop up of the parents meeting their host child they had already fallen in love with, and trying to spot Anna at the airport. Which, a friend of mine spotted her for me! She was coming!! She was at one airport, then I spotted her at the New York airport! She was getting closer!! She actually spent her first night in the US in New York, along with her chaperone and a few others coming to this area. I had to force myself to sleep.
Josh was up around 3am, I believe. He went into work early so he could get a half-day in before 9am. While he was at work, I packed up Aden's bag and got his stuff ready for Nanna's house (we decided not to take him with us to the airport). Then I anxiously got ready, made some sandwiches and packed some other snacks in a bag.
When Josh got home from work, we drove to my parent's place and dropped Aden off. We also took their car because it was more reliable than ours. Right away, I went to the car and tucked the gallon-sized Ziplock bags into the pouch on the back of the passenger side (anyone see where I'm going with this?) and made sure the box was open and readily available.
I laid some blankets and pillows across the back seat put the paper bag of food on the seat as well. I knew she'd be tired and wanted her to feel comfortable in the car.
Shortly after 9:30 we headed to the airport. We had to be there at 1pm to meet with our airport coordinator and we had to get her a welcome gift at some point too. I was planning on getting her flowers but didn't want to take them on the car ride lest they wilt during the drive! Nothing says "Welcome!" like wilted roses! So we planned to stop at a shop in the airport and pick some up.
Well, we arrived at the airport closer to 1pm than we wanted... and there was no flower shop in site. Uncool.
We had to do something!!! So we went to the incredibly overpriced shop at the airport, found a little stuffed monkey that made a ridiculous noise if you pressed its foot, and had "MINNEAPOLIS" written across its chest! Ugh. It was going to have to do! The only good thing about it was that she couldn't read English - so she'd have no clue what it said!!
While at the airport, we met a few of the families that were also hosting. I was eager to meet them as we had been Facebook friends for a while, but never met in person.
It was nearing arrival time and Shari, the airport coordinator went to greet the kids and chaperone at the gate... We waited.
I was getting so excited, I was shaking. After what seemed like FOREVER, we saw some little people walking closer all wearing red shirts. That was them! They were a level up, so I tried to pick out Anna but wasn't certain until she came down the escalator and I saw the blue coat I saw in the pictures the night before! She was here!! She was so close!!

HOLD ON!
Do I give her a hug straightaway!? What do I say!? She doesn't know English!
She was getting closer...
Do I just shake her hand? Do I give her a big bear hug or a small side hug? Is she going to like us!? What is she going to think of this ridiculous monkey!?

I made the decision quickly-
Make contact immediately. Let her know you love her, care about her, and will be a comfort and security for her.
So I started walking towards her and as she approached us I said, "Hello Anna, Welcome," and I wrapped her in my arms. From that moment, I didn't let her go... and she, just as happily, clung to me. I handed her the monkey. She liked it... especially the annoying noise it made. Josh said hello and she nodded and said hello back to him. She wasn't distant, but she wasn't quick to bond with Josh at the airport. That was okay. Josh was fine with that and he was wonderful in how he responded to her. Neither of us had any idea what she had been through, so we were watching her responses to us and taking our cues from there. Josh knew that she would have to have some time to get comfortable with him.
We had to get a group picture and she just hung on to me. I didn't mind. Once that was done, Josh carried her bag and I held her hand as we walked to the car. Once we got to the car, I opened the door and showed her the plastic bags. She looked at me funny. Ugh.
They told me at training I might have to do this... So I grabbed a bag, opened it, and pretended to throw up - noise and all.
She half laughed, and was half mortified.
"No, no, no!" She said. She smiled. "No."

PHEW! That was a relief! If I understood her correctly... she doesn't get car sick!
Apparently, many MANY of the children who are hosted have a very bad time with car sickness. They walk everywhere and are rarely in cars in their country! It is totally understandable, and I was ready to deal with it... but it was kind of my greatest fear. Silly, I know. I had prayed so fervently that she wouldn't get car sick. We had a 3 hour drive ahead of us!!
I got her settled into the car and we headed home. I used google translate on my phone to let her know it was a long drive home and that she should eat and sleep if she wanted to. She just sat there. Silently. She kept her hands folded in her lap and was so quiet. I didn't want her to get car sick so I didn't want to use my phone much to talk, so Josh and I talked a little so she could just get comfortable hearing us talk. Every so often, I'd translate something or ask her something... but we mostly let her just be quiet. Eventually, she ate the food in the bag and rested her head on the pillow.
When we arrived home, my parents and Aden were there to welcome her. We brought her in and she was quick to be kind to them, but we could tell she was exhausted.
My parents left and it was just us.
Now what?
Bath.
I took her hand gently and showed her around the house, showed her her room, and showed her the bath tub. I showed her how to turn the water on from cold to hot and how to plug the tub. I showed her the soap, shampoo, conditioner, and where the towels were. She was excited!
We let her take a bath for as LONG as she wanted, but she was quickly in and out. I had set out some new pajamas for her and she was happy to wear them.
She found Aussie, our dog, to be the highlight of entertainment for the night.
We were pleased to see her smile and laugh as she chased the dog around the house and scratched his belly when she caught him.
We let her get comfortable and settled in and by then it was time for bed. We tucked Aden in and had her come in his room with us. We all prayed together and said goodnight to Aden. We let her stay up just a little bit later and then we tucked her in, just as we did with Aden. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and said, "I Love You." She just smiled. Josh stayed back by the door to give her space but said goodnight.
She was still pretty quiet.

She was asleep quickly.
So were we!

We decided for the first week at least to sleep downstairs on our couch since both the kids' rooms were down there. We had a few reasons for this, but it was mostly so she would feel safe knowing we were just outside her door if she needed us.

It was a great first day. Since we were not sure what to expect, we were pleased with the outcome!

So we slept. We all slept. I had a feeling this was going to be a very wonderful experience for all of us.

Pink Preparations!

Total emotional and spiritual uprising was going on in both Josh and me. We were so excited to meet Anna, but still a little nervous about her arrival. One thing we were sure on was the fact that we knew this was something God wanted us to be doing.

In June, we had the amazing opportunity to buy a house. We had been renting a house from a dear friend, but we knew we needed to get a place of our own. Long story short, there was a house for sale in an area that we dreamed to be in... we had the Realtor show us the house (only for wishful thinking)... and we loved it. We figured out a way to afford it... and God provided it at an incredibly too good to be true price...

When buying the house, we wanted to have a "spare room," and this house had it. From the moment we bought the house, we wanted to use it to minister, to give others a room when they needed it. Whether it was for friends, relatives, or even a child in need. We had no stipulations.

This room was going to be Anna's room in a matter of a couple weeks and it was currently... ummm, in need of some decor! :) I tried to look at the list of things Anna liked... but one thing I knew she LOVED was the color PINK! With a house FULL of boys (even the dog is a boy!) I was more than happy to add a little 'sugar and spice' to this house... mainly in the rosy color of pink! I painted a dresser pink, I bought a pink bed spread, I found pictures that had lots of pink in them at Hobby Lobby and got amazing deals on them and hung them on her walls. I also added a (non-pink) world map and pinned Ukraine... and Wisconsin. I bought her some knitting supplies and put them in pink baskets, and I had pink fleece sheets that were SO comfy! I had some pink lotions and body washes, and had a pink little container to hold them in! I hung up pink jewelry, tied her curtains with a pink ribbon, and even found a big sparkly letter "A" in pink to hang on the wall!

Basically, I wanted that room as my own. I have to admit... it was pretty awesome... and SOOOOOOOO girly!

What surprised me was when we had our home study done for New Horizons. When Dani came into the room, she nearly cried. She said in her 12 years of doing this, she had never seen a family devote and decorate a room like this to their host child unless they were adopting. That surprised me. I was seeing a lot of Facebook friends who were hosting were preparing such lovely rooms... I just wanted to prepare something for Anna that said to her, "WELCOME! WE LOVE YOU!"

We finished the majority of her room by the end of November and I was so excited about it! I showed pictures of it on Facebook and was just delighted with how it turned out.

Then we went to training.

I became incredibly nervous when the coordinator said to us,
"If the children have a favorite color listed on their biography... don't expect it to be true! Sometimes, they are so nervous that they just say any random color, when, they actually don't like it! They just heard their friend say that color... so they said it too!"

A family friend (who I had shared my pictures with) looked back at me with a bit of a "uh oh" smirk and a shrug.

Oh dear.
What if she HATES her room!? What if, instead of LOVING the color pink, she actually HATES it!? What if she thinks we're saying, "Welcome to our house! You're stuck with something you hate for the next month! Muahahahahaha!"

My only comfort was that she sang a solo for the interview team.
If she was brave enough to do that... she was probably the one the kids who were nervous were listening to for THEIR favorite color!

That's all I had going for me.
Only time would tell.
... and not much time!

Falling in Love with a Picture...

From the day we put Anna on "hold," our lives began to change. We had a picture of her and a very short biography... Something like, "She was an interesting girl. She actually sang a solo for the interview team! She loves the color pink, likes to read and knit, loves to sing, she loves cats, is scared of big dogs, and wants to learn basketball while she is here." That was enough for us to fall head-over-heels with her. Well, with her picture and bio at least.

We didn't know quite what to expect and were always cautioned to not have super expectations of this amazing, sweet little obedient child... Because sometimes, they're not. Sure, they're all smiles in their pictures... but how many pictures do you send to other people where you aren't smiling? Still, there was something about her. Something tender... and we fell in love.

Perhaps at first I was more in love than Josh. I was trying to figure out in my mind what I thought she would be like.
She sang a solo for the interview team... so she must have some confidence.
She has a tenderness to her smile... I really think she is going to be sweet.
She is a teenager... uh oh. That's okay! I've worked with teenagers on numerous occasions! I love that age!
She likes reading and knitting... maybe she's a homebody? Maybe she likes just spending time chilling out.
Who knows!
All I knew was that I was loving this child as desperately as I love my son. I started developing a fierce protective feeling. I wanted her here sooner because I didn't want her to be so far away from us. I wanted to hug her, comfort her, and be a mommy to this sweet-looking child.

A few weeks into our fundraising, and a few weeks of building up love for this child (which came, surprisingly naturally) I asked Josh what he would think of us adopting Anna if she fit really well into our family.

"No."

Okay. Got it. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. We're just hosting. Just helping an orphan over Christmas. It's temporary. We can't do anything more than temporary.

With that in mind, I kept the adoption idea pushed aside, but for some reason, it kept creeping up on me. We have some dear friends who are adopting from Eastern Europe and I've always admired their love for the fatherless. Adoption has always been something in the far back corner of my mind... so I wasn't surprised it was a thought that kept coming back to me... and it did... it just kept coming back.

Just out of curiosity (because we've never looked into adoption, knew nothing about how it worked, have ever had interest in it, etc...) I called the adoption agency to find out more about Anna. Was she even available for international adoption? What are the costs involved? Were we even eligible?

I don't even remember our entire conversation. I just remember her saying, "Ukraine has a 15-year age-gap requirement."
Huh?
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She elaborated. Ukraine requires both parents to be 15 years older than the child they are pursuing for adoption. Sometimes they can make it happen if only one parent is only 15 years older...

For the first time in my life, I wished I was older. I fell one year short of this age gap and my husband is younger than me.

I guess that settles that.

I told Josh about how I called the agency because I was curious, informed him of the age-gap law... and we left it at that. God just wanted us to host this child.

Nevertheless, I was building a strong bond with this picture. This girl I'd never met before. This child who needed security, love... family.
I was starting to wish that family could be us.

Express Fundraising... God's Way

We're going to host an orphan for Christmas.
We're going to host an orphan for Christmas and we need to raise money.
We're going to host an orphan for Christmas and we need to raise... a lot of money.

Though I understand that "a lot" of money is a relative term for this hosting (because for many people who adopt... $3500 is just another installment of their sometimes $30,000 and up to raise) it was nothing less than daunting. Don't get me wrong, I believed that God would provide... but I also knew I'd have to work my little tootsie off for the next month.

First order of business: Make People Aware!
My last blog talked about how on October 31st when we signed up, I was already trying to figure out how we would fund-raise... well, my Facebook confirms that.
First thing I did was post her picture and said, "We'd like to introduce you to our Anna (well, for Christmas at least)! More information soon... but we just wanted you to meet her first!"
That was the start of a Facebook fundraising effort that has pretty much continued to this day. (I'm sorry, Facebook friends! I don't mean to continually bombard you with this begging!) Anyway, I let people know what we were planning on doing. I asked people what some good fundraising ideas were and I got rolling.

One of the ideas I got (and tweaked a little) was a $10 in 10 Facebook event. I didn't think this would be extremely successful, but God had other plans. We just invited ALL our friends to this event where we explained what we were doing and asked people to donate $10. We wanted to see how much we could raise in 10 days. I was constantly on Facebook and the Internet. I was keeping track of who was "joining," replying to messages from people, setting up a Paypal account (bringorphanshome@gmail.com --- just sayin'), and just constantly, well... bugging people. I'm not usually one to ask for money... except from my mom... for coffee... every so often... but that doesn't count. I had to really step out of my comfort zone and realize that people actually wanted to help! People wanted to be part of this extraordinary ministry we were going to be part of over Christmas! People wanted to encourage us and be involved. This was huge. I have never... ever... EVER... seen God's hand so evidently at work through His people - quite like I did during the early fundraising days! Within 10 days... we had raised well over $800. Knocked nearly $1000 down in the first 10 days.
.... how do I not praise God for such amazing handy-work!? We had friends and family all over the place donating $10 here, $20 there, $10 here, and sometimes, oftentimes, even more! That's God. We were in awe.

Meanwhile, I wasn't sleeping much the way it was... so I decided I would start another project. This way, when the 10 days were up, I'd have another project to announce!
I work at a magnificent hotel and we have another property near by (same brand) that had conference rooms. I asked the GM of that hotel if I could use a conference room for a silent auction....... for free.
As I sat in her office, biting my lip, praying that she'd say yes...
God's hand moved again.
Not only could I use the room for free because I was an employee of the hotel I work at (and she happened to be a former boss of mine)... She also offered to donate a free night from that hotel to be auctioned off!
After I picked my jaw up from the floor and stopped staring blankly wondering if I had just imagined that or if that was reality... I realized God had just given me another amazing opportunity! We just had to plan the day.
I'll admit... I was lacking sleep... and I didn't look at my calender very closely... I just knew that November 30th was open for us... one of the very few evenings that was open... as I told her the date we were thinking (and hoping)... I peeked at her calender of events and noticed it was super full... SUPER full... except for November 30th... which 'happened' to be completely and utterly empty.

Okay God... what are you up to?
By this point... I had no doubt that Anna would be with us for Christmas... and it was TOTALLY something God wanted to have happen. But why!?

Next up - asking local businesses to donate for the silent auction.
This part was actually much MUCH easier than I thought it would be. My boss gave us a free night at the hotel I work at, and he suggested I make a pamphlet up to give to businesses when I tell them about what we are doing. That being said, I went home, made a pamphlet, had it printed at digicopy, and off I went! With my 2-year-old in hand, and a strange determination - I traveled around my local city and the connecting city's businesses to ask for donations for days and days. Some people required me to write down what I was doing, some just took the pamphlet, and some just gave me things on the spot! I ventured over to the local Christian radio station where I know the manager and asked him if perhaps he could help us out with some advertising... He was happy to help! Not only that but he gave us some Veggie Tales movies, a CD, and the Monumental DVD to add to our growing collection of auction items!

Ummm, God... this is too good to be true... THANK YOU... but I'm a bit confused why you're making this so easy?

Meanwhile, I started making jewelry. I started with cute bottlecap necklaces. They didn't take up too much of my time to make - and they really were cute!! I thought, maybe - MAYBE someone would want to buy these to help with fundraising... I sold over 50 of them! I also started doing necklace and earring sets... and since have branched out. All that being said... It was just another way to bring in just a little more for our hosting fees!

The days up to the auction are a mess of blurry movement... I have no idea how I did anything. I think I was on about 3 hours of sleep a night, a high dosage of coffee, and adrenaline that sustained me till the auction was over. There were so many people that were willing to help with this event and I was blessed by their willingness to serve. Ladies from my mother-in-law's workplace baked cookies and bars and donated them so we'd have goodies to eat! The hotel donated their coffee. Our mini-church friends helped us set up, tear down, play live piano music, and oversee my jewelry table. We were overwhelmed by the response we had from the help!
The night arrived and we had fewer turn out than we were expecting. God knew who needed to be there and sent them... it was a success! With over 40 items up for auction, we sold everything and raised around $1500 from that one event!

God... this is amazing... but I'm so tired, I think I'm going to fall over.
With that, God replied - "Rest"

December 1st was the next day.
NEW HORIZONS TRAINING DAY!!
Yeah, planned that one great. Remember how I said I didn't check my calendar real close? Yup. We were out of the hotel around 10pm and up the next morning around 4:30am to head off to Chicago. Thank the Lord we were not driving. I think our bodies ached just from the lack of sleep... but we met up with all the other hosting families and took one vehicle down to Chicago together.
Rest.
The meeting was actually rejuvenating. It caused us to refocus on our reason for fundraising. We were informed of many issues we could face, and were getting prepared mentally and spiritually for this endeavor.
Rest.
We were meeting together with many like-minded people who had a desire to help children with no families. We met a few new people and made some great new friends.

After the auction and the $10 in 10... we had raised around $2300. We wanted to raise $3500 to cover some of the costs of Anna's stay... but we were really most concerned with raising at LEAST $3000.

But I really felt like I needed to rest from the fundraising.
We paid the rest of our host fees with our credit card and trusted that the Lord would provide the rest.

God, you told me to rest... I'm nervous to slow down... but I'll trust you.And then HE proved Himself faithful - again.
We were interviewed by the local news station which was amazing to get the word out about New Horizons.
People would walk up to us at church, show up at our door step, and mail would come that were various amounts... all adding up to the $3000 we absolutely needed to pay off our hosting debt.

Speechless.

God replied:

...For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.

I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine.

If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine...
Psalm 50

GOD, Facebook, a Phone Call, and a Face

This is a lengthy summary of how we came to host sweet Anna.
At the end of October I was Facebook snooping... like I usually do (beware "friends" I'm watching)! I 'happened' upon a friend's page who posted a link to New Horizons for Children. The message on her Facebook was something along the lines of... "Two families are hosting 5 children from Latvia..." and then the New Horizons for Children picture that says "The deadline for most children is November 1st!"
I don't know what it was about that post that sparked my interest... but it did. I tend to be a last-minute-quick-decision-maker... so knowing God would expect us to get involved in a ministry to help an orphan... I  knew it was something we needed to do.
Great. I'm all in.
........ now, I just have to convince Josh (my husband).
I'm glad God is actually the one that does the convincing. My husband, bless his beautiful soul, likes to dwell on decisions. So, to get him to agree to opening our home to a teenage girl, who doesn't speak English, over Christmas, was nothing next to miraculous in general... but to decide in a matter of a few hours so we'd hit the deadline... well, God would have to move mountains. He did... with a few texts and a phone call.
Though I understand that texting is not the best way to ask your husband a question of this caliber... I had in my mind that it was a simple enough question... Host orphan... don't host orphan... To me, it was a no-brainer.
Here was my text:
9:17am
"...Kind of a random question... Would you be interested in hosting a Ukrainian or Latvian orphan child for the month of December? I think it would be an amazing opportunity for us to do some ministering to a child. I just read about it today... and today is pretty much the deadline... Can you respond ASAP so I can at least start the pre-application if you'd be interested?"  
..... "It's only for a month"
............"The program allows orphans to experience Christmas with a family"
......."How old were you when you got saved?" (Confession... I had already started the pre-application!! :) But since it didn't bind us to anything, I didn't think there was any harm in that)

His response:
9:58am
"I will call you on my lunch break"

My response:
9:58am
"Can you call now?"

His response:
9:58am
"Sorry can't"

Can you believe I had to wait all the way until 11ish to hear back from him!!! Didn't he realize the importance and urgency of this!? :) Well, lunch time came and we talked. There was a little convincing that had to be done - mostly because it costs money... to us, a lot of money. Basically, $3,000 to start with and then those extra things we were unaware of... which, ended up being a little more than we expected... but nothing too extreme. From moment #1 when I saw the post on Facebook, I had complete peace about the financial aspect of this adventure. I know it was God-given... because I have a tendency to really worry about money issues. Josh asked how we were going to afford it... and I said, "God will provide." With everything in me... I believed it. I told him we'd fund-raise (something I've never really done before). I felt incredibly uncomfortable asking people for money. Though, this was something I knew a lot of people did... and I knew it was vital to our hosting. It was just going to have to happen.

Other than money, he was concerned about our 3-year-old son and how he would adapt, and the language barrier (and rightly so).

Surprisingly though, he didn't take long to make a decision.
"Well, if we can raise the money (we had 1 month to raise about $3500)... I think it would be a good experience."

Giddy inside, I hung up and finished filling out the pre-application... and IMMEDIATELY started thinking of ways I was going to get fundraising!

I could do a dinner party, I could make something and sell it on eBay, I could... LOADS of ideas... not many that were practical or possible within a 30-day period. Okay... maybe I just have to tell people what we're doing... and just ASK them for money. ... That's a very humbling experience... but a huge blessing as well!

Meanwhile... a lovely lady from New Horizons gave me a call and we talked. She asked me a few questions to verify who I was, our interest in hosting, and went over some of the general information. I could have talked to her for hours! The coordinators at New Horizons are amazing people. They are so dedicated to their work and their mission - and it is all voluntary! They are committed to the well-being of these children in such magnanimous ways! All I can say is - Praise the Lord for such servants! So, I talked to her for a little while and one thing she said to me was, "It may be a bit costly, but you will see God provide in ways you never thought would be possible." What a confirmation... because really, it is about God and His provision. He owns ALL things, so why wouldn't He provide for the children He tells us to care for!? Why wouldn't He provide for servants willing and able to obey Him!? ... and He did!

There was one more aspect to this conversation and it was about "who" we would be hosting.
Prior to our conversation, I had been scrolling through all the children on the list. I had been reading their bios and falling in love with each child, each sibling group, and each person represented there that had no family to call their own. But one stuck out.

We had no intentions of adoption. We had no intentions of anything, really. We just wanted to minster to an orphan and show a child what it was like to live in a loving family - even if  it was for just a month. With that, we didn't really have a preference at first on age or gender. We didn't know ANY rules concerning adoption (especially internationally)... and quite frankly, we didn't care to know. It wasn't our intention.

So - when I saw her face - I knew she was the one for our family... for Christmas. Strangely enough, I thought she looked like my family. I saw more of my husband's side in her, but many people said she looked a lot like me. On her picture, she had a sweet smile and a tenderness about her that drew me to her instantaneously. She was the one for us.

After I saw her, I asked my husband what he would think of a teenage girl staying with us (I didn't know her age at that point)... and he was fine with it. Since I would be the one home with her the most, we thought it would be best if it was a girl. It was set... she would be our guest... our new family member... for one month. We told our coordinator and made a 'down payment' per-say to hold her specifically. No trouble. It just showed our commitment to that child.

We adjusted to the thought that our Christmas would be a bit different than usual. We were fine with the thought that we'd send her back and life would go back to "normal" after that month... and our ministry to an orphan would be over... and we'd move on. Shallow, right? Looking back, I think so too.

At that point - we had absolutely no idea how our lives would be forever altered.
We are a changed family - thanks to GOD, Facebook, a phone call, and a face.

What Has Happened!?

Since my last post, all I can come up with for a title is: "What Has Happened!"
I think about that statement being so relevant in so many ways! First, I think - "What has happened since my last post!?" Then I think, "What has happened to our family because of this amazing experience we've just been through!?" Then I wonder, "What has happened to this time!? It FLEW by!?" Finally I think, "What has happened to sweet Anna?"
Well, let me think, what has happened since my last post...
To sum that up and come back to it in another blog... We had the amazing opportunity to host Anna from Ukraine. We had a phenomenal Christmas with her. I would say her hosting was "picture perfect," and we really feel blessed. Of course, she was not perfect... but neither are we! The fact that we both saw the grace of God in our relationships made our experiences - a memory we will hold onto for the rest of our lives. Sadly, we are not able to adopt Anna because in Ukraine, parents need to be 15 years older than their child... and we fall 1 year short. Though we understand the rules, we consider her our responsibility now. We had the time of our lives with her, we really did. We had to say goodbye on January 15th and the wound from that parting is still very fresh. However, we are bound and determined to help her from this point on. More about that later on.
What has happened to our family?
We are changed.
We went into this hosting experience with no thought of adoption, no interest in adoption, and simply as a way to minister to an orphan for Christmas. In no way were we planning on coming out of it with a desire to adopt, a passion for orphans, and a spiritual revival from the Lord like we have never experienced before! By taking the leap of faith to host, we had to raise $3000 in a hurry. In fact, we signed up to host Anna on the last day allowed to sign up! That gave us ONE MONTH... to raise $3000. My husband... skeptical. I was determined --- and with God's hand in absolutely everything --- it happened! I still marvel at HIS work!
Though we were nervous about the language barrier, God worked it out. Though we were concerned about how she would fit in our family, God worked it out. Though we were concerned about how in the world we would say goodbye... God GRACIOUSLY has helped us with this as well! Through friends, neighbors, and people we didn't even know... God has provided, helped, encouraged, and made Himself so amazingly evident in everything about this hosting experience.       Praise. Be. To. God!
We have a new passion for orphans... the Lord is working in both my husband and I in great ways in this area and we are excited to see where He leads.
As for where the time has gone...
We don't know.
It was not long enough.
We ache to spend one more day with Anna! We are praying she will find a forever family in America. We are praying that she has a future that is full and bright no matter where she is! We are praying that she will live a life that is honoring and glorifying to God. Time is going so fast and she is unadoptable SO soon! We fear that time is not in her favor... though, God is bigger than time. God controls it! So, we are trusting... and praying.
Finally, what has happened to sweet Anna?
She blossomed!
From her first picture with us, to her last picture with us - she looks like a new person!
She needs a family. Perhaps she belongs with YOUR family?

I will be giving more information about our hosting experience and more about Anna... I just had to post since it's been a while. Too long. My apologies.

For now, this is all I can write... but I will be back soon!
God Bless!!

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NEW HORIZONS FOR CHILDREN