Becoming тато

When Anna was first with us, she had a hard time bonding with Josh. The last week in December was the first time Аня (Anna) really started to talk to Josh and show a more goofy side with him. She was always very clingy to me and very reserved with Josh. I will never forget the night we were all in the kitchen playing with the play-doh and she started teaching us some Ukrainian. She found Josh's attempts at Ukrainian absolutely hilarious and really started accepting him into her life at that point. She had a funny relationship with him. She didn't call him Josh, instead, she called him, "Sleepy." Rightly so! Josh had been working long hours at work and often came home looking very tired. She also would talk back to him. Many times, jokingly, she would say, "No, Sleepy!" Even when Josh wasn't telling her to do something. At that point, she didn't know many other English words, but it got to be a bit excessive and disrespectful, so we had to translate to her that she needs to be respectful and be kind. Immediately, she did as we asked and her relationship changed. We were becoming more of a "mom" and "dad" figure rather than just a fun couple she was hanging out with. That was one of the only times we had to confront her actions and she handled it very well and with a great attitude.

 

From day 1, I was "мама" to her and quickly became a more endearing term. She clung to me. When Josh would get home from work, she would sometimes overshadow Josh by trying to hug me first when Josh walked in. It eventually calmed down and I made a point to go hug Josh right away. We felt it was important for her to see that we cared for each other and then her and Aden. We were never harsh about it, but we were deliberate. She understood and eventually, she embraced our after work "welcome home." However, Josh was still "Sleepy."

  I don't remeber exactly what day it was, but one day... a sunny afternoon... kind of out of the blue... Josh became "тато." 

That. was. huge. 

HUGE! 

It was nearing the end of hosting and she was walking down the stairs and turned around because she forgot something or wanted to tell Josh something - I can't remember... but I remember she was trying to get Josh's attention and quickly said, "Тато!" Which made Josh and I both stop briefly and smile at one another. This moment, though fading in my memory, was important. Every day, she was getting closer, opening up more, allowing us in to her life... and we were blessed. 

  Anna never got super close with Josh, but they had a special relationship. He was someone important to her, you could tell. She continually got more comfortable with him during her time with us... and it was incredible for me to see my husband be a nurturing father to this teenage girl who needed a special kind of father's love. For a man who was not so sure he even wanted to host... it was inspiring for me to see his heart change towards her. He went from a person who showed mild concern for an orphan girl to a man fiercely protective of a teenager he wanted to be able to call his own. His care for her extended far beyond what I ever thought possible. 

Because we decided to host Anna, I was blessed - as a wife - to see into the depths of my husband's heart. I was able to get a peak into a part of his soul that I had never seen before. 

Because we hosted - 

WE were blessed! 

WE were changed! 

WE grew! 

If it was that impacting for us... I can only imagine what kind of soul-stirring, life-altering impacts it has on these children!

I often think of the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive." I hate to say that Anna got the short end of the stick in this hosting - because we know she didn't... however, we feel as though we have been blessed in ways that are completely unexplainable. Sometimes when we think about her, we just take some time to thank God for her life.

Each person has a purpose in this world. No matter their "status." Orphan or wealthiest person alive...

Each person has the unique ability to change someone else's life - even if they don't realize they're doing it. 

Essentially, God used Anna to change our lives. We pray, we were used to change hers.

This entire experience is completely unexplainable... no matter how many words I type or things I say - I just can not convey just what has happened to our family. From the deepest, most intimate parts of our souls - we are thankful for the lessons we learned, the challenges we faced, and the focus that has been changed. 

The Best Night of Her Life

It was finally the New Year and we were having a great time at home and going on small trips around the area. On Sunday, January 6th, we took a day trip up to Camp Forest Springs to go sledding and snow boarding. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we were excited to get up there! That morning, we went to church and I translated the gospel to her again (as I did every Sunday). Since she didn't understand what the pastor was preaching, I just told her the basics. Each week I would do that so that she would understand more about Christ. She seemed to have a bit of a religious background and she nodded to show that she understood what I was saying. Many times she would smile and get excited when I told her things about Jesus. He was common ground. I think she knew of Him, but didn't yet know Him personally.

After church, we headed up to the camp. Our family had never been there before, but we had heard great things about it. We were pleasantly surprised when we arrived. The sledding hill looked crazy, there was a decent ski hill, and they even had lessons for first time skiiers and snowboarders. The lessons were nice, but with a non-English speaker... it made it a little more difficult. No worries. Josh, my fearless and talented snowboarding husband happily agreed to teach her. He took her up the small slope, helped her get her board strapped to her boots, and showed her over and over again how to get up, stand the right way, and glide down the hill. He would snowboard backwards while she would come clumsily down the hill. It was a small hill, so each trial was only a few seconds long, but we could tell that she was LOVING it! I took a few pictures of her standing up and boarding down. She was proud of what she was accomplishing. She never got to a point where she wanted to go down the hill on her own, but she was such a good sport and really enjoyed learning! I was proud of her just for being willing to try it! 

After the snowboarding, we had a turn at sledding. The hill was a bit... ummm... scary. I had my 3-year-old with me and I was a bit nervous taking him down the big hill. We tried it... and as we were airborne, I decided that was the last time we'd go down. I had Aden on top of me in a tube and it was just not something with which I felt comfortable. Anna wasn't a huge fan either, not because it was a scary ride down, but because it took too long to get up the hill!! There was a pulley that tugged the tubes (with the people) up the hill and it went slowly. She didn't like that and only went down the hill a couple times. We stayed outside for quite a while. Josh scooted away for a little bit to snowboard down the big hill a few times. We watched him do the jump and Anna would say "ooooh," and "aaaaah," as Josh came flying down the hill. We were all impressed. I have a pretty cool husband. :) 

We finished by spending some time inside and drinking hot chocolate. It was a fabulous afternoon. That night, we had already planned to watch a movie. So, we headed home and ate some dinner. 

After dinner, we all snuggled on the couch in the basement and watched the Jesus film. We were excited to watch the movie because it was actually in her language! Josh and I watched it in our language on my iPod while her version played on the tv. It was old. It seemed really corny. It was long.

 It changed her life. 

We were about half way through when it was Aden's bedtime. Aden had been enamored with her version of the movie and was sitting like a champ during the first half. We paused it and put Aden to bed. We were going to turn it off and watch the second half another time, but she begged us to watch more. She had never so sincerely asked for anything else before. She was completely hooked. Personally, I didn't think she would like it, but perhaps because it was in her language she was extra interested? Perhaps because it was Scripture after Scripture quoted? Perhaps it was because we had been talking about Jesus at church and at home when we prayed that it was all coming together? Perhaps, just perhaps, the Holy Spirit was working, churning, convicting that heart of hers?

We could not turn it off and expect to just pick it up again later... We finished it to the end. We were having some issues with it on the TV, so we went upstairs and she finished it on the computer. Josh fell asleep on the couch and I sat next to her, still watching it in English on my phone. 

It was late, probably close to midnight before it neared the end. She was not tired, she was not bored... her eyes were still glued. She was still completely interested. 

The end of the movie arrived and it gave a bit of an overview and then an invitation to Salvation. I was not expecting what happened next. The invitation ended with another invitation: an invitation to pray. As I watched in English, I saw a little head next to me bow. Her hands were folded. She prayed. Out loud, whole-heartedly, completely, sincerely prayed. She didn't care that I was sitting next to her. She mouthed the words lead by the movie and then some other things. After she said "Amen," she looked at me with the biggest smiled. At the same time, Josh semi-woke. "I think we have a new believer in the house," I quietly said to him. I'm not sure he was awake enough to understand what I said... but I was so overjoyed, I would have told him even if he was still completely asleep! I had to tell someone! Meanwhile, she was quick to go to the translation program to ask me to help her write down the words she just prayed. She wanted them written down, to keep with her. I got a piece of paper and a pen and handed them to her. We replayed the video part where it went through the prayer and she frantically wrote down the words. She was so excited. So was I! My thoughts were that, now, even though this child has no earthy father - she had just been adopted! She had been adopted into the family of God and she was now a child of the Lord! Though no earthly father claimed her, she now had a Heavenly Father! My heart was greatly at ease, but I also had more of a burden than ever for this child. She needed a family. This precious, precious child, with such a sweet and tender heart - needed an earthly family. Anna and I talked a bit about what happened and she translated a few things about how happy she was. 

That night, I tucked her in like I did every night, prayed with her, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. With tears in my eyes, I thanked the Lord for saving such a sweet soul. 

One thing I noticed about Anna is that she liked to write down her prayers. After she left our house, she left some papers on the table next to her bed. All of them ended with "amen," and I just thought they were the same prayer she had prayed that night... but I had them translated. They were all prayers she had prayed since that night. She asked God to help her with some things she was struggling with and her normalcy hit me again. She was a sinner... saved by the grace of God. Just like me. 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

After Christmas, our time seemed to just slip away! Josh went back to work a couple days before the New Year and I got into a routine with the kids.

Up around 7am.

Cuddled on the couch with Aden and Anna watching Shaun the Sheep until 7:30am.

Breakfast

Anna would then take a long bath (and usually soak our entire bathroom floor... we eventually were able to explain that she can't fill the tub to the top or it will spill over! ... and the shower curtain stays IN the shower.) :) She loved her baths.

While she took a bath I'd play with Aden and give him some special attention.

After her bath, she always wanted me to dry her hair for her. I happily agreed. Every morning.

I pulled out my straightener and curling iron a few times, too!

This would often take us to the point where we could suit up and play in the snow for a little while before lunch.

We'd make some lunch together... we'd eat... then we'd put Aden in his room for a nap.

Anna and I would often work on a puzzle while Aden slept.

By the time Aden was up, Josh would be home from work and we'd spend the time together as a family. We went out to the indoor water park a few times, we took the chaperone from Latvia bowling, we had wonderful friends visit for dinner, we went to a huge sledding hill, and some nights... we just stayed home and played play-doh and goofed off. Life was good. This little family was changing. Our hearts were growing ever so fond of this young lady. 

New Years came and went. We stayed home as a family.

A few mornings, a friend offered to watch Aden, so I took Anna to the Clay House in Weston to do some painting. She enjoyed that a lot! We ended up doing that a couple times. In fact, some gorgeous friends of ours came down from Ashland (you know who you are) to paint with her. We all had a really lovely time together. 

God was growing Josh and I closer and closer to this child. I ached to be her mumma and Josh was ready and willing to take her as his own. I checked, I rechecked, and I verified OVER and OVER with the adoption agency to find out FOR SURE we would not be able to take her into our family forever. The answer was always the same. "You're too young."

Not too young to adopt... Just not 15 years older than her... which is a country requirement.

So, we continued to advocate. With broken hearts, and minds fully committed to this girl, we advocated. We grew closer, we loved her, we prayed for her, we advocated. We saw God work. We saw what kind of love God has for children who do not have earthly parents. Week after week, we saw the Lord do mighty things. 

Time was flying. It was going by so quickly and I wanted everything to slow down! I soaked in every moment, good and bad, and I am certain - she was doing the same.

A Little Christmas Drama

As I write this, I think about the fact that this all feels like it was AGES ago, yet it also feels like it happened just yesterday! It's an odd feeling to reminisce. 

Christmas came. On Christmas Eve, we spent the time at my parent's place. It was Anna's first time at my parent's house and she quickly greeted my family. She immediately took a liking to my mom and helped her straightaway in the kitchen. Later, she was down in my parent's basement with my mom and she was enamored with some Barbie dolls my mom had in her office. My mom and I gave each other a look... We knew. Anna would go home with the beautiful Barbie dressed in a glamorous sparkling pink dress. We just had to wrap it without her knowing! I went back upstairs with Anna and my mom snuck the doll into her room. It was quickly wrapped and we were excited for her to open this special treasure! 

My family opened gifts that night and I wasn't certain how she would react. Our family doesn't do a small Christmas. No matter how much we suggested to just 'keep it simple,' it was no use. Thankfully, she handled it well. All the gift opening seemed to exhaust her (and I think she was still a bit jet lagged). We finally got to the doll. As she opened it, she didn't see what it was right away. When she turned it over, she became so visibly surprised and happy! Mom and I exchanged smiles.

We headed home before it got too late and Anna went to bed right away. We all had a great time and enjoyed our evening together.

Then came Christmas Day. 

Remember the title??? Here comes the drama. 

Anna developed a crush. Like a really super huge crush... on my brother-in-law. We tried and tried to tell her that he had a girlfriend. She was going to be coming to Christmas dinner and we didn't want her heart to be unprepared. However, we think the translation must have been poor... or perhaps she thought we were teasing her by saying, "Oh, he has a girlfriend (meaning her)!" That is NOT what we wanted to portray, but she clearly did not understand what we were trying to tell her. 

It all went down at the dinner table.

His girlfriend was running late, so we decided to start dinner without her. I don't even think we had a plate set for her, so I'm sure Anna didn't suspect another visitor. We ate and laughed and Anna was clearly a giddy teenager. Then it happened. That moment that we thought could be a possibility due to the lack of translation, but way worse than we imagined. I am pretty sure it happened in slow motion... The girlfriend entered. 

My brother-in-law got up to greet her at the door.

Anna was a bit confused at first, but caught on VERY quickly when she saw the visitor give my brother-in-law a hug and pull a chair up next to him. 

Before we could even introduce her to Anna, the connection was made.

I could physically feel her heartbreak. 

I can't even imagine how she felt! It was nobody's fault, we tried the very best we could to warn her, and yet... my heart broke for her broken heart! "She's such a normal teenage girl," kept running through my mind! 

How embarrassed she must have felt! 

How disappointing! 

That night, I didn't see her as a needy child; rather, I saw her as a typical teenage girl with a crush on a boy!! 

She retreated. No tears, just a complete and utter shut down. It was probably the longest "pouty/shut-down" moment from her the entire time she was with us, but I could TOTALLY understand it! I was not mad. In fact, I retreated with her. We sat in the living room together and I stroked her hair. I translated a couple things to her... but mostly we just sat quietly.

Everyone gave us space. Then a bit later, my mother-in-law joined us. She started making the mood much lighter and I could feel Anna's attitude shifting. 

A little while later, Josh came in. 

Then Aaron & Katie. Aaron brought the guitar and started strumming a bit. She loved it and was soon sitting on the floor with him, learning how to play some chords. All of this cheered her more and more. She was the center of our attention - and she was loving it! Marc joined us, and when we were all laughing again... My brother-in-law and his girlfriend entered. For just a moment, Anna went quiet... but then, like a switch went off... she was completely fine. 

Not only did she become a normal teenage girl in my eyes, but I was incredibly impressed by her maturity. That was it, she was over it. At least, visibly, she was over it.

The rest of the night was VERY enjoyable!! We all laughed and enjoyed each other's company... it truly was an unforgettable Christmas night! Josh and I were so blessed. Those moments we shared as a family will never be forgotten.

I think that little Christmas drama pulled us closer together. Anna let us see inside her. We could feel her hurt and know her pain. We looked at her differently, we loved her even more. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas.