The End Is Near

I could go on and on... and on and on about our hosting adventure. I keep saying that the experience completely changed our lives - and I'm not exaggerating one bit. We are new people because of the time we shared with Anna. We have a new mind set, a new focus. The Lord has moved our hearts towards orphans in ways that I have never understood before.
One of the major things we learned was this:
God requires us to care for orphans.
I think often times many people feel oppressed by this thought, in that, they automatically assume that they are required to adopt.

Not so! 

There are so many things that can be done to help orphans! In our case, over the winter, it was to host and advocate. It cost money, but God provided. It took time and energy, but God gave us strength. God doesn't challenge us with easy tasks. He puts our nose to the grindstone, but in the end, it builds His kingdom and builds our faith. Isn't that why we are here!?
I understand that not everyone is able to host. With that, I think about many of our friends and family who helped a fatherless child - by helping us! That was something awesome that we saw! We were the hosting family, but we couldn't do it on our own! The overflow of donated clothing, finances to help us, prayer support, fun activities sponsored by families - that helped! That all helped! It helped us - but it also helped her. She was able to come, she wore the clothes, she experienced the fun activities... she experienced a family, because of the help we received. 

However, that's not all! There are orphanages that need supplies, people can donate. 

There are missionaries serving orphans that need prayer, people can pray.
There are so many avenues of service that are possible here... and God leads each family in the way they should attend to orphan care. My only plea - is that everyone would have an open heart and mind to the great gift of giving! Give of yourself so that others may be blessed; so that orphans can be cared for!

Wow... can we say, "Rabbit Trail!!"

Those were just some thoughts rattling through my brain. I do have a story to tell!!

We only had a few days left. We started packing her clothes and her new goodies from Christmas into her large suitcase. With every shirt I folded and placed into the bag, I prayed. 

With every pair of pants I rolled into a small bundle, I wiped a tear. 

With every moment that passed, I realized it was one moment closer to her leaving us - I struggled. This girl had become one of us...

We started having to say goodbye to family in the area because soon we would be headed to Minneapolis. The tears began when we were at Josh's parent's place. We had spent Sunday morning there after church and when it was time to go, the tears started. She knew. She understood. We explained that it was the last time she'd see them for now, but we didn't even have to say anything. She was well aware. She kept track on her calendar that we made her. She knew her time with us drew close to an end. She hugged my in-laws in a tight grip and sobbed in my mother-in-law's arms. Everyone cried. These were the days we were dreading. These were the days we never wanted to come. These days arrived so much faster than we wanted. 

Next stop, my parent's place. My mom was there to embrace Anna and she was ready to be engulfed in her loving arms. More tears. Sobbing again. My heart was breaking in a million pieces. I could barely contain my emotions, but I kept it together as best as possible. I felt like a limb of my body was being amputated. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to function again when she was gone. People would sometimes say to me, "When is she leaving? Are you looking forward to things getting back to normal?" 

Normal!?

Nothing would be normal ever again. Our normal had changed. Now, our "normal" was with Anna.

We had to be at the airport really early on the 15th. On the 14th of January, we got everything packed in the car and headed to the big city. She put on her dance music and danced around with Aden as we packed our overnight bags. She was in a good mood while I was fighting back tears. She would see my sad face and she would smile at me and give me a hug. "I love you." She would confirm over and over and I just ached to keep her home.

We drove to Minneapolis. 

When we were there, we stayed at a beautiful Marriott near the airport with a few other host families. The kids had a great time playing in the swimming pool together and talking to each other about their experiences in America. 

Once it was time to sleep, I could hardly close my eyes. For some reason, maybe I thought that if I didn't sleep, the next day would never come. I was dreading it. Anna was sleeping soundly. She was so safe, so secure. I wanted to be able to protect that forever. I wanted to keep her safe forever. I wanted to make sure she felt secure forever! In a matter of hours, that was completely out of my hands! In fact, I knew, it never truly was in my hands to begin with... but at least when she was near me, I could protect her to a certain extent. 

It reached around 4am and I was out of bed. I don't remember when we had to be to the airport, but it was very early. We got up and this began Anna's sullen mood (probably because she was half asleep). The day we were all dreading, had arrived. We piled into the car and drove quietly to the airport. Anna clung to me. She held me like I had held her the first day we met. She clung to me and I hung onto her just as tight in return. I didn't want to let her go.

We got to the airport, met up with our group, and the kids got their checked baggage taken care of. At that point, we waited. We simply sat together and waited. I hugged her the entire time and I cried. She was quiet. She just sat, almost in a daze. Then, then it was time to say goodbye.

We walked up to security and while everyone else got into the line, she just clung to me. This is when she started to sob. She tried to let go and she came back again, more hugs. I knew I had to get her into the line, but I wasn't willing to make her go. It wasn't until I angered her chaperone that I finally let her out of my arms. I didn't want to get her into trouble... so she walked away and I stood there. Numb. Silent. Unbelieving that a portion of my heart was getting onto an airplane and I may never see her again.
We watched as she went through security.
We watched and waved every time she looked our way.
I wasn't going to leave until I could not see her face anymore.

And then, she was gone. We stood there for a moment almost unsure what to do. My levelheaded husband was the first to say, "Let's go home."

Those words made the hair on my neck stand on end.
Home? How can I go home?

How can I even look into that empty bedroom?
How can I go into the bathroom without thinking about how I dried her hair EVERY morning after her bath?
How can I continue the day-to-day routine I had be so used to before her arrival... it all seemed so trivial.

Regardless, we went home. I have never cried so long and so hard ever before in my life.
I have never felt like I had used every possible tear I could muster up - until that day.
Yet, at the same time, I have never felt so, numb.

We arrived home and I had a headache from crying.
I just remember taking a nap and waking up in the same mood.

But that's grief.
Looking back, it was good. It was a good cry. It was a release.
We couldn't be her forever family and we knew it.
We couldn't keep her in our home for longer than the hosting period - and we knew it.
We knew this was going to be the ending, but we had NO idea how deep, emotional, and impacting it would be.

When you sign up to "host an orphan," you think you're doing some kid a favor by giving them a nice Christmas... but I can not even articulate into words the deep consequences hosting an orphan brings.
You learn to truly and incredibly love unconditionally.
You learn to not just open your heart... it gets torn, ripped to shreds, towards this fatherless child.
You laugh at things you never thought you'd laugh at.
You understand things you never knew you needed to understand.
God helps you find your strengths in your weaknesses.
God makes you consider the unimaginable...
You ache to the innermost part of your body because you know this child is hurting... and all you can offer is your presence, love, and security... but only for a month.

Life changing seems like such a minimal description of what this experience does.
But what else can I say?

With all that pain in the goodbye, I look back and wonder sometimes how I survived.
Then I think -
    If I had to do it all over again... I would.
    In A HEARTBEAT.

I believe Tennyson said it best:

         I hold it true, whate'er befall;         I feel it, when I sorrow most;         'Tis better to have loved and lost         Than never to have loved at all.

Becoming тато

When Anna was first with us, she had a hard time bonding with Josh. The last week in December was the first time Аня (Anna) really started to talk to Josh and show a more goofy side with him. She was always very clingy to me and very reserved with Josh. I will never forget the night we were all in the kitchen playing with the play-doh and she started teaching us some Ukrainian. She found Josh's attempts at Ukrainian absolutely hilarious and really started accepting him into her life at that point. She had a funny relationship with him. She didn't call him Josh, instead, she called him, "Sleepy." Rightly so! Josh had been working long hours at work and often came home looking very tired. She also would talk back to him. Many times, jokingly, she would say, "No, Sleepy!" Even when Josh wasn't telling her to do something. At that point, she didn't know many other English words, but it got to be a bit excessive and disrespectful, so we had to translate to her that she needs to be respectful and be kind. Immediately, she did as we asked and her relationship changed. We were becoming more of a "mom" and "dad" figure rather than just a fun couple she was hanging out with. That was one of the only times we had to confront her actions and she handled it very well and with a great attitude.

 

From day 1, I was "мама" to her and quickly became a more endearing term. She clung to me. When Josh would get home from work, she would sometimes overshadow Josh by trying to hug me first when Josh walked in. It eventually calmed down and I made a point to go hug Josh right away. We felt it was important for her to see that we cared for each other and then her and Aden. We were never harsh about it, but we were deliberate. She understood and eventually, she embraced our after work "welcome home." However, Josh was still "Sleepy."

  I don't remeber exactly what day it was, but one day... a sunny afternoon... kind of out of the blue... Josh became "тато." 

That. was. huge. 

HUGE! 

It was nearing the end of hosting and she was walking down the stairs and turned around because she forgot something or wanted to tell Josh something - I can't remember... but I remember she was trying to get Josh's attention and quickly said, "Тато!" Which made Josh and I both stop briefly and smile at one another. This moment, though fading in my memory, was important. Every day, she was getting closer, opening up more, allowing us in to her life... and we were blessed. 

  Anna never got super close with Josh, but they had a special relationship. He was someone important to her, you could tell. She continually got more comfortable with him during her time with us... and it was incredible for me to see my husband be a nurturing father to this teenage girl who needed a special kind of father's love. For a man who was not so sure he even wanted to host... it was inspiring for me to see his heart change towards her. He went from a person who showed mild concern for an orphan girl to a man fiercely protective of a teenager he wanted to be able to call his own. His care for her extended far beyond what I ever thought possible. 

Because we decided to host Anna, I was blessed - as a wife - to see into the depths of my husband's heart. I was able to get a peak into a part of his soul that I had never seen before. 

Because we hosted - 

WE were blessed! 

WE were changed! 

WE grew! 

If it was that impacting for us... I can only imagine what kind of soul-stirring, life-altering impacts it has on these children!

I often think of the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive." I hate to say that Anna got the short end of the stick in this hosting - because we know she didn't... however, we feel as though we have been blessed in ways that are completely unexplainable. Sometimes when we think about her, we just take some time to thank God for her life.

Each person has a purpose in this world. No matter their "status." Orphan or wealthiest person alive...

Each person has the unique ability to change someone else's life - even if they don't realize they're doing it. 

Essentially, God used Anna to change our lives. We pray, we were used to change hers.

This entire experience is completely unexplainable... no matter how many words I type or things I say - I just can not convey just what has happened to our family. From the deepest, most intimate parts of our souls - we are thankful for the lessons we learned, the challenges we faced, and the focus that has been changed. 

The Best Night of Her Life

It was finally the New Year and we were having a great time at home and going on small trips around the area. On Sunday, January 6th, we took a day trip up to Camp Forest Springs to go sledding and snow boarding. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we were excited to get up there! That morning, we went to church and I translated the gospel to her again (as I did every Sunday). Since she didn't understand what the pastor was preaching, I just told her the basics. Each week I would do that so that she would understand more about Christ. She seemed to have a bit of a religious background and she nodded to show that she understood what I was saying. Many times she would smile and get excited when I told her things about Jesus. He was common ground. I think she knew of Him, but didn't yet know Him personally.

After church, we headed up to the camp. Our family had never been there before, but we had heard great things about it. We were pleasantly surprised when we arrived. The sledding hill looked crazy, there was a decent ski hill, and they even had lessons for first time skiiers and snowboarders. The lessons were nice, but with a non-English speaker... it made it a little more difficult. No worries. Josh, my fearless and talented snowboarding husband happily agreed to teach her. He took her up the small slope, helped her get her board strapped to her boots, and showed her over and over again how to get up, stand the right way, and glide down the hill. He would snowboard backwards while she would come clumsily down the hill. It was a small hill, so each trial was only a few seconds long, but we could tell that she was LOVING it! I took a few pictures of her standing up and boarding down. She was proud of what she was accomplishing. She never got to a point where she wanted to go down the hill on her own, but she was such a good sport and really enjoyed learning! I was proud of her just for being willing to try it! 

After the snowboarding, we had a turn at sledding. The hill was a bit... ummm... scary. I had my 3-year-old with me and I was a bit nervous taking him down the big hill. We tried it... and as we were airborne, I decided that was the last time we'd go down. I had Aden on top of me in a tube and it was just not something with which I felt comfortable. Anna wasn't a huge fan either, not because it was a scary ride down, but because it took too long to get up the hill!! There was a pulley that tugged the tubes (with the people) up the hill and it went slowly. She didn't like that and only went down the hill a couple times. We stayed outside for quite a while. Josh scooted away for a little bit to snowboard down the big hill a few times. We watched him do the jump and Anna would say "ooooh," and "aaaaah," as Josh came flying down the hill. We were all impressed. I have a pretty cool husband. :) 

We finished by spending some time inside and drinking hot chocolate. It was a fabulous afternoon. That night, we had already planned to watch a movie. So, we headed home and ate some dinner. 

After dinner, we all snuggled on the couch in the basement and watched the Jesus film. We were excited to watch the movie because it was actually in her language! Josh and I watched it in our language on my iPod while her version played on the tv. It was old. It seemed really corny. It was long.

 It changed her life. 

We were about half way through when it was Aden's bedtime. Aden had been enamored with her version of the movie and was sitting like a champ during the first half. We paused it and put Aden to bed. We were going to turn it off and watch the second half another time, but she begged us to watch more. She had never so sincerely asked for anything else before. She was completely hooked. Personally, I didn't think she would like it, but perhaps because it was in her language she was extra interested? Perhaps because it was Scripture after Scripture quoted? Perhaps it was because we had been talking about Jesus at church and at home when we prayed that it was all coming together? Perhaps, just perhaps, the Holy Spirit was working, churning, convicting that heart of hers?

We could not turn it off and expect to just pick it up again later... We finished it to the end. We were having some issues with it on the TV, so we went upstairs and she finished it on the computer. Josh fell asleep on the couch and I sat next to her, still watching it in English on my phone. 

It was late, probably close to midnight before it neared the end. She was not tired, she was not bored... her eyes were still glued. She was still completely interested. 

The end of the movie arrived and it gave a bit of an overview and then an invitation to Salvation. I was not expecting what happened next. The invitation ended with another invitation: an invitation to pray. As I watched in English, I saw a little head next to me bow. Her hands were folded. She prayed. Out loud, whole-heartedly, completely, sincerely prayed. She didn't care that I was sitting next to her. She mouthed the words lead by the movie and then some other things. After she said "Amen," she looked at me with the biggest smiled. At the same time, Josh semi-woke. "I think we have a new believer in the house," I quietly said to him. I'm not sure he was awake enough to understand what I said... but I was so overjoyed, I would have told him even if he was still completely asleep! I had to tell someone! Meanwhile, she was quick to go to the translation program to ask me to help her write down the words she just prayed. She wanted them written down, to keep with her. I got a piece of paper and a pen and handed them to her. We replayed the video part where it went through the prayer and she frantically wrote down the words. She was so excited. So was I! My thoughts were that, now, even though this child has no earthy father - she had just been adopted! She had been adopted into the family of God and she was now a child of the Lord! Though no earthly father claimed her, she now had a Heavenly Father! My heart was greatly at ease, but I also had more of a burden than ever for this child. She needed a family. This precious, precious child, with such a sweet and tender heart - needed an earthly family. Anna and I talked a bit about what happened and she translated a few things about how happy she was. 

That night, I tucked her in like I did every night, prayed with her, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. With tears in my eyes, I thanked the Lord for saving such a sweet soul. 

One thing I noticed about Anna is that she liked to write down her prayers. After she left our house, she left some papers on the table next to her bed. All of them ended with "amen," and I just thought they were the same prayer she had prayed that night... but I had them translated. They were all prayers she had prayed since that night. She asked God to help her with some things she was struggling with and her normalcy hit me again. She was a sinner... saved by the grace of God. Just like me. 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

After Christmas, our time seemed to just slip away! Josh went back to work a couple days before the New Year and I got into a routine with the kids.

Up around 7am.

Cuddled on the couch with Aden and Anna watching Shaun the Sheep until 7:30am.

Breakfast

Anna would then take a long bath (and usually soak our entire bathroom floor... we eventually were able to explain that she can't fill the tub to the top or it will spill over! ... and the shower curtain stays IN the shower.) :) She loved her baths.

While she took a bath I'd play with Aden and give him some special attention.

After her bath, she always wanted me to dry her hair for her. I happily agreed. Every morning.

I pulled out my straightener and curling iron a few times, too!

This would often take us to the point where we could suit up and play in the snow for a little while before lunch.

We'd make some lunch together... we'd eat... then we'd put Aden in his room for a nap.

Anna and I would often work on a puzzle while Aden slept.

By the time Aden was up, Josh would be home from work and we'd spend the time together as a family. We went out to the indoor water park a few times, we took the chaperone from Latvia bowling, we had wonderful friends visit for dinner, we went to a huge sledding hill, and some nights... we just stayed home and played play-doh and goofed off. Life was good. This little family was changing. Our hearts were growing ever so fond of this young lady. 

New Years came and went. We stayed home as a family.

A few mornings, a friend offered to watch Aden, so I took Anna to the Clay House in Weston to do some painting. She enjoyed that a lot! We ended up doing that a couple times. In fact, some gorgeous friends of ours came down from Ashland (you know who you are) to paint with her. We all had a really lovely time together. 

God was growing Josh and I closer and closer to this child. I ached to be her mumma and Josh was ready and willing to take her as his own. I checked, I rechecked, and I verified OVER and OVER with the adoption agency to find out FOR SURE we would not be able to take her into our family forever. The answer was always the same. "You're too young."

Not too young to adopt... Just not 15 years older than her... which is a country requirement.

So, we continued to advocate. With broken hearts, and minds fully committed to this girl, we advocated. We grew closer, we loved her, we prayed for her, we advocated. We saw God work. We saw what kind of love God has for children who do not have earthly parents. Week after week, we saw the Lord do mighty things. 

Time was flying. It was going by so quickly and I wanted everything to slow down! I soaked in every moment, good and bad, and I am certain - she was doing the same.

A Little Christmas Drama

As I write this, I think about the fact that this all feels like it was AGES ago, yet it also feels like it happened just yesterday! It's an odd feeling to reminisce. 

Christmas came. On Christmas Eve, we spent the time at my parent's place. It was Anna's first time at my parent's house and she quickly greeted my family. She immediately took a liking to my mom and helped her straightaway in the kitchen. Later, she was down in my parent's basement with my mom and she was enamored with some Barbie dolls my mom had in her office. My mom and I gave each other a look... We knew. Anna would go home with the beautiful Barbie dressed in a glamorous sparkling pink dress. We just had to wrap it without her knowing! I went back upstairs with Anna and my mom snuck the doll into her room. It was quickly wrapped and we were excited for her to open this special treasure! 

My family opened gifts that night and I wasn't certain how she would react. Our family doesn't do a small Christmas. No matter how much we suggested to just 'keep it simple,' it was no use. Thankfully, she handled it well. All the gift opening seemed to exhaust her (and I think she was still a bit jet lagged). We finally got to the doll. As she opened it, she didn't see what it was right away. When she turned it over, she became so visibly surprised and happy! Mom and I exchanged smiles.

We headed home before it got too late and Anna went to bed right away. We all had a great time and enjoyed our evening together.

Then came Christmas Day. 

Remember the title??? Here comes the drama. 

Anna developed a crush. Like a really super huge crush... on my brother-in-law. We tried and tried to tell her that he had a girlfriend. She was going to be coming to Christmas dinner and we didn't want her heart to be unprepared. However, we think the translation must have been poor... or perhaps she thought we were teasing her by saying, "Oh, he has a girlfriend (meaning her)!" That is NOT what we wanted to portray, but she clearly did not understand what we were trying to tell her. 

It all went down at the dinner table.

His girlfriend was running late, so we decided to start dinner without her. I don't even think we had a plate set for her, so I'm sure Anna didn't suspect another visitor. We ate and laughed and Anna was clearly a giddy teenager. Then it happened. That moment that we thought could be a possibility due to the lack of translation, but way worse than we imagined. I am pretty sure it happened in slow motion... The girlfriend entered. 

My brother-in-law got up to greet her at the door.

Anna was a bit confused at first, but caught on VERY quickly when she saw the visitor give my brother-in-law a hug and pull a chair up next to him. 

Before we could even introduce her to Anna, the connection was made.

I could physically feel her heartbreak. 

I can't even imagine how she felt! It was nobody's fault, we tried the very best we could to warn her, and yet... my heart broke for her broken heart! "She's such a normal teenage girl," kept running through my mind! 

How embarrassed she must have felt! 

How disappointing! 

That night, I didn't see her as a needy child; rather, I saw her as a typical teenage girl with a crush on a boy!! 

She retreated. No tears, just a complete and utter shut down. It was probably the longest "pouty/shut-down" moment from her the entire time she was with us, but I could TOTALLY understand it! I was not mad. In fact, I retreated with her. We sat in the living room together and I stroked her hair. I translated a couple things to her... but mostly we just sat quietly.

Everyone gave us space. Then a bit later, my mother-in-law joined us. She started making the mood much lighter and I could feel Anna's attitude shifting. 

A little while later, Josh came in. 

Then Aaron & Katie. Aaron brought the guitar and started strumming a bit. She loved it and was soon sitting on the floor with him, learning how to play some chords. All of this cheered her more and more. She was the center of our attention - and she was loving it! Marc joined us, and when we were all laughing again... My brother-in-law and his girlfriend entered. For just a moment, Anna went quiet... but then, like a switch went off... she was completely fine. 

Not only did she become a normal teenage girl in my eyes, but I was incredibly impressed by her maturity. That was it, she was over it. At least, visibly, she was over it.

The rest of the night was VERY enjoyable!! We all laughed and enjoyed each other's company... it truly was an unforgettable Christmas night! Josh and I were so blessed. Those moments we shared as a family will never be forgotten.

I think that little Christmas drama pulled us closer together. Anna let us see inside her. We could feel her hurt and know her pain. We looked at her differently, we loved her even more. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. 

Christmas Shopping!

One of the suggestions of New Horizons was to take your host child Christmas shopping so he or she could also take part in the gift-giving at Christmas time. I thought that was a fabulous idea and there were about 15 people she could lavish gifts upon. With a crisp $20 in my purse, we headed off to the dollar store.
Let me set the scene.
The Dollar Tree...a couple days before Christmas...
The majority of the ornaments were no longer available for purchase... and the "good" gifts seemed to be a bit scarce. That's what I saw.
When we walked in, I told her to pick out a gift for each person in our family. We live near my parents and Josh's parents and she knew them from visiting with them. We had also shown her pictures of my family that would be coming up for Christmas. When I told her to pick out a gift for each person, her eyes lit up! She wasted NO time to start her Christmas shopping! I would tell her a name and she would search and search, high and low, until we found what she considered the PERFECT gift for each person. I found it absolutely intriguing what she chose. All the gifts she chose were very heavily thought over, rethought, and there were many times where she would find something different and put a previously picked item back. As I said, the pickins were scarce, but it did not deter her from finding some serving tray or tree ornaments to give.
Her taste in ornaments... well, they're MUCH different than my taste in ornaments! It seemed as though the bigger, the gaudier, the most 'out there' ornaments - were the best possible finds! She was thrilled to find these and quickly added them to the cart. At times we'd re-count and realize there were 20 items rather than 15 and we'd have to go through the roll-call again to see who was getting what and put back certain items. In the short time she was here, she had developed a bit of a crush on my brother-in-law and at one point, about 5 of the gifts were designated to him... Eventually, we got it down to 15. Some of the gifts included: a gum ball machine, a broom & dust pan, a deviled egg tray, a plastic serving platter, numerous gigantic ornaments, and a few other things such the like. We did end up putting back a few things because I decided they were not suitable gifts from her - which included a pair of underwear.
We then picked out some tape, wrapping paper, and ribbon... and paid for our goodies. I let her hand the money to the cashier and she was very excited as the crisp $20 became nothing but a few coins of change. She gave the change to me and we headed home to wrap our new treasures.
She had obviously never wrapped a gift before, but was more than excited to learn!
We took almost the entire afternoon to wrap gifts and re-designate certain gifts to certain people. We played Christmas music and ate Christmas cookies and really enjoyed that special time together. She was so excited to give her gifts to everyone and I was really excited for her! What a special treat Christmas was going to be for all of us!

Sensory Overload

A few days past... It was filled with making Christmas Cookies (which she ABSOLUTELY loved), and preparing for my son's 3rd birthday and my dad's birthday (same day - his age is being left out for his benefit). :) We planned to have a small family gathering with just my family and Josh's family. The only problem was that we kind of forgot to get some stuff for the party.
One thing NHFC suggests during training, is that you NOT take your host child to Wal-mart if you can help it. Don't do it within the first few days of their arrival, especially. Why? Because it is completely overwhelming. In fact, I even get overwhelmed when I go there - and I'm "used" to that place! Unfortunately, we found ourselves needing to stop there briefly to get something for our son's birthday party... Bad idea. We knew it wasn't a great thing in the first place because it would be overwhelming, but we didn't understand how this would be displayed in Anna's actions.
She shut down.
The first few minutes we were there she did fine. We heard a few "oohs" and "aaahs." Then, after about 5 minutes, her smile was gone, she stopped talking or responding to any of our questions, and she just kind of got grumpy. She totally shut down.
We had already planned to go in and get out right away, so we were glad we didn't have to be there long. We went through the check out and a few minutes we got in the car and drove away, she was fine. In a way, I'm glad we went there. It was good to see how she reacted in a place like that and how we could take care of the situation because we figured more of that would come. Not necessarily Wal-mart, but other situations. That is how she dealt with stress and overwhelming situations. It was good to know. Remove her from the situation and let her adjust. It could have been worse, however. I don't suggest taking a host child to Wal-mart just to see how they deal with overwhelming situations. You never know what could happen...
Anyways, we got home and were ready for the next day's party. We knew our son would be getting some gifts, so we asked that his gifts would be accompanied by one for Anna as well. Our families were happy to oblige (and wanted to give her gifts anyway), so that worked out well. The night of the party, we did our traditional M&M cake decorating which includes throwing M&Ms at the cake until everyone's bowl of M&Ms are secured to the entire cake. It's fun. Anna enjoyed it, but cautiously.
The party also included some great family time. During this entire time, Anna stuck by me like I had been glued to her. Absolutely no problem with me. However, when it came to gift-time, she was pretty unsure what to do. We had almost a Wal-mart shut down again. I found out that in Ukraine, when given a gift, a person doesn't open it then and there... so, the fact that we wanted her to open her gifts in front of everyone must have been a bit strange to her. But she did it. She thanked everyone... and then she went silent. She laid on my lap the rest of the evening and fell asleep. I'm sure jet lag was still an issue, and it was a sweet time... but we were starting to see how overloading it was to her to see all these things and be given all these gifts. They were small gifts, practical gifts, things she could wear or use back in Ukraine. Thankfully, we had been warned. New Horizons did a fantastic job informing parents of what to expect when it came to overwhelming situations such as this. We knew it was unavoidable for Christmas and wanted her to know that Christmas was not about the gifts we give each other, but the greatest gift given to us - Jesus Christ and salvation through Him. I think as time passed, as she watched our family, she understood this... but within the first few days of being here, it was a bit foreign to her.

In all, we were starting to get a glimpse into this young lady's life. We were starting to see what made her tick, what excited her, what made her sad or angry. We were starting to understand that she did not care for chicken, but would eat all the sweets in the house if you let her. She was letting us get to know her, non-verbally, and we were totally in love with this child. We knew she was a special girl - sent to our family to change our lives.

Welcome to America! Welcome to your FAMILY!

Money raised: Check (well, for the most part... but we were not concerned.)
Room Prepared: Check (well, unless she actually hated the color pink)
Mentally Prepared: Check (well... as much as we could be)
It was the day before Anna arrived when it finally hit me. She was going to arrive the NEXT DAY! Our house was a mess, Aden was being a grump, and though I was excited as could be... I realized, I didn't have much time to finish getting the rest of the house ready to go!
That day was a bit of a blur. I'm pretty sure I went grocery shopping, but wasn't sure what I was getting. I had run through the training manual to the page where it talked about what foods they eat in Eastern Europe... but then on the blogs and Facebook posts, some people would write about how their host child wouldn't touch a supposedly "favorite" food. I stocked up on yogurt. Even if she wouldn't eat it, I would! Cheese, sauerkraut, bread, a bag of chips, spaghetti, and hot dogs were also on the list. Aside from food, I grabbed a box of (name brand) gallon-sized Ziplock bags... You probably don't want to know why, but you'll find out later.
After shopping, un-grumpifying Aden, and making sure everything was as prepared as it could be... I tried to sleep, but all my new Facebook friends who were also hosting were welcoming their kids that night; so I found myself constantly reading the updates on the New Horizons group page, watching the pictures pop up of the parents meeting their host child they had already fallen in love with, and trying to spot Anna at the airport. Which, a friend of mine spotted her for me! She was coming!! She was at one airport, then I spotted her at the New York airport! She was getting closer!! She actually spent her first night in the US in New York, along with her chaperone and a few others coming to this area. I had to force myself to sleep.
Josh was up around 3am, I believe. He went into work early so he could get a half-day in before 9am. While he was at work, I packed up Aden's bag and got his stuff ready for Nanna's house (we decided not to take him with us to the airport). Then I anxiously got ready, made some sandwiches and packed some other snacks in a bag.
When Josh got home from work, we drove to my parent's place and dropped Aden off. We also took their car because it was more reliable than ours. Right away, I went to the car and tucked the gallon-sized Ziplock bags into the pouch on the back of the passenger side (anyone see where I'm going with this?) and made sure the box was open and readily available.
I laid some blankets and pillows across the back seat put the paper bag of food on the seat as well. I knew she'd be tired and wanted her to feel comfortable in the car.
Shortly after 9:30 we headed to the airport. We had to be there at 1pm to meet with our airport coordinator and we had to get her a welcome gift at some point too. I was planning on getting her flowers but didn't want to take them on the car ride lest they wilt during the drive! Nothing says "Welcome!" like wilted roses! So we planned to stop at a shop in the airport and pick some up.
Well, we arrived at the airport closer to 1pm than we wanted... and there was no flower shop in site. Uncool.
We had to do something!!! So we went to the incredibly overpriced shop at the airport, found a little stuffed monkey that made a ridiculous noise if you pressed its foot, and had "MINNEAPOLIS" written across its chest! Ugh. It was going to have to do! The only good thing about it was that she couldn't read English - so she'd have no clue what it said!!
While at the airport, we met a few of the families that were also hosting. I was eager to meet them as we had been Facebook friends for a while, but never met in person.
It was nearing arrival time and Shari, the airport coordinator went to greet the kids and chaperone at the gate... We waited.
I was getting so excited, I was shaking. After what seemed like FOREVER, we saw some little people walking closer all wearing red shirts. That was them! They were a level up, so I tried to pick out Anna but wasn't certain until she came down the escalator and I saw the blue coat I saw in the pictures the night before! She was here!! She was so close!!

HOLD ON!
Do I give her a hug straightaway!? What do I say!? She doesn't know English!
She was getting closer...
Do I just shake her hand? Do I give her a big bear hug or a small side hug? Is she going to like us!? What is she going to think of this ridiculous monkey!?

I made the decision quickly-
Make contact immediately. Let her know you love her, care about her, and will be a comfort and security for her.
So I started walking towards her and as she approached us I said, "Hello Anna, Welcome," and I wrapped her in my arms. From that moment, I didn't let her go... and she, just as happily, clung to me. I handed her the monkey. She liked it... especially the annoying noise it made. Josh said hello and she nodded and said hello back to him. She wasn't distant, but she wasn't quick to bond with Josh at the airport. That was okay. Josh was fine with that and he was wonderful in how he responded to her. Neither of us had any idea what she had been through, so we were watching her responses to us and taking our cues from there. Josh knew that she would have to have some time to get comfortable with him.
We had to get a group picture and she just hung on to me. I didn't mind. Once that was done, Josh carried her bag and I held her hand as we walked to the car. Once we got to the car, I opened the door and showed her the plastic bags. She looked at me funny. Ugh.
They told me at training I might have to do this... So I grabbed a bag, opened it, and pretended to throw up - noise and all.
She half laughed, and was half mortified.
"No, no, no!" She said. She smiled. "No."

PHEW! That was a relief! If I understood her correctly... she doesn't get car sick!
Apparently, many MANY of the children who are hosted have a very bad time with car sickness. They walk everywhere and are rarely in cars in their country! It is totally understandable, and I was ready to deal with it... but it was kind of my greatest fear. Silly, I know. I had prayed so fervently that she wouldn't get car sick. We had a 3 hour drive ahead of us!!
I got her settled into the car and we headed home. I used google translate on my phone to let her know it was a long drive home and that she should eat and sleep if she wanted to. She just sat there. Silently. She kept her hands folded in her lap and was so quiet. I didn't want her to get car sick so I didn't want to use my phone much to talk, so Josh and I talked a little so she could just get comfortable hearing us talk. Every so often, I'd translate something or ask her something... but we mostly let her just be quiet. Eventually, she ate the food in the bag and rested her head on the pillow.
When we arrived home, my parents and Aden were there to welcome her. We brought her in and she was quick to be kind to them, but we could tell she was exhausted.
My parents left and it was just us.
Now what?
Bath.
I took her hand gently and showed her around the house, showed her her room, and showed her the bath tub. I showed her how to turn the water on from cold to hot and how to plug the tub. I showed her the soap, shampoo, conditioner, and where the towels were. She was excited!
We let her take a bath for as LONG as she wanted, but she was quickly in and out. I had set out some new pajamas for her and she was happy to wear them.
She found Aussie, our dog, to be the highlight of entertainment for the night.
We were pleased to see her smile and laugh as she chased the dog around the house and scratched his belly when she caught him.
We let her get comfortable and settled in and by then it was time for bed. We tucked Aden in and had her come in his room with us. We all prayed together and said goodnight to Aden. We let her stay up just a little bit later and then we tucked her in, just as we did with Aden. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and said, "I Love You." She just smiled. Josh stayed back by the door to give her space but said goodnight.
She was still pretty quiet.

She was asleep quickly.
So were we!

We decided for the first week at least to sleep downstairs on our couch since both the kids' rooms were down there. We had a few reasons for this, but it was mostly so she would feel safe knowing we were just outside her door if she needed us.

It was a great first day. Since we were not sure what to expect, we were pleased with the outcome!

So we slept. We all slept. I had a feeling this was going to be a very wonderful experience for all of us.

Pink Preparations!

Total emotional and spiritual uprising was going on in both Josh and me. We were so excited to meet Anna, but still a little nervous about her arrival. One thing we were sure on was the fact that we knew this was something God wanted us to be doing.

In June, we had the amazing opportunity to buy a house. We had been renting a house from a dear friend, but we knew we needed to get a place of our own. Long story short, there was a house for sale in an area that we dreamed to be in... we had the Realtor show us the house (only for wishful thinking)... and we loved it. We figured out a way to afford it... and God provided it at an incredibly too good to be true price...

When buying the house, we wanted to have a "spare room," and this house had it. From the moment we bought the house, we wanted to use it to minister, to give others a room when they needed it. Whether it was for friends, relatives, or even a child in need. We had no stipulations.

This room was going to be Anna's room in a matter of a couple weeks and it was currently... ummm, in need of some decor! :) I tried to look at the list of things Anna liked... but one thing I knew she LOVED was the color PINK! With a house FULL of boys (even the dog is a boy!) I was more than happy to add a little 'sugar and spice' to this house... mainly in the rosy color of pink! I painted a dresser pink, I bought a pink bed spread, I found pictures that had lots of pink in them at Hobby Lobby and got amazing deals on them and hung them on her walls. I also added a (non-pink) world map and pinned Ukraine... and Wisconsin. I bought her some knitting supplies and put them in pink baskets, and I had pink fleece sheets that were SO comfy! I had some pink lotions and body washes, and had a pink little container to hold them in! I hung up pink jewelry, tied her curtains with a pink ribbon, and even found a big sparkly letter "A" in pink to hang on the wall!

Basically, I wanted that room as my own. I have to admit... it was pretty awesome... and SOOOOOOOO girly!

What surprised me was when we had our home study done for New Horizons. When Dani came into the room, she nearly cried. She said in her 12 years of doing this, she had never seen a family devote and decorate a room like this to their host child unless they were adopting. That surprised me. I was seeing a lot of Facebook friends who were hosting were preparing such lovely rooms... I just wanted to prepare something for Anna that said to her, "WELCOME! WE LOVE YOU!"

We finished the majority of her room by the end of November and I was so excited about it! I showed pictures of it on Facebook and was just delighted with how it turned out.

Then we went to training.

I became incredibly nervous when the coordinator said to us,
"If the children have a favorite color listed on their biography... don't expect it to be true! Sometimes, they are so nervous that they just say any random color, when, they actually don't like it! They just heard their friend say that color... so they said it too!"

A family friend (who I had shared my pictures with) looked back at me with a bit of a "uh oh" smirk and a shrug.

Oh dear.
What if she HATES her room!? What if, instead of LOVING the color pink, she actually HATES it!? What if she thinks we're saying, "Welcome to our house! You're stuck with something you hate for the next month! Muahahahahaha!"

My only comfort was that she sang a solo for the interview team.
If she was brave enough to do that... she was probably the one the kids who were nervous were listening to for THEIR favorite color!

That's all I had going for me.
Only time would tell.
... and not much time!

Falling in Love with a Picture...

From the day we put Anna on "hold," our lives began to change. We had a picture of her and a very short biography... Something like, "She was an interesting girl. She actually sang a solo for the interview team! She loves the color pink, likes to read and knit, loves to sing, she loves cats, is scared of big dogs, and wants to learn basketball while she is here." That was enough for us to fall head-over-heels with her. Well, with her picture and bio at least.

We didn't know quite what to expect and were always cautioned to not have super expectations of this amazing, sweet little obedient child... Because sometimes, they're not. Sure, they're all smiles in their pictures... but how many pictures do you send to other people where you aren't smiling? Still, there was something about her. Something tender... and we fell in love.

Perhaps at first I was more in love than Josh. I was trying to figure out in my mind what I thought she would be like.
She sang a solo for the interview team... so she must have some confidence.
She has a tenderness to her smile... I really think she is going to be sweet.
She is a teenager... uh oh. That's okay! I've worked with teenagers on numerous occasions! I love that age!
She likes reading and knitting... maybe she's a homebody? Maybe she likes just spending time chilling out.
Who knows!
All I knew was that I was loving this child as desperately as I love my son. I started developing a fierce protective feeling. I wanted her here sooner because I didn't want her to be so far away from us. I wanted to hug her, comfort her, and be a mommy to this sweet-looking child.

A few weeks into our fundraising, and a few weeks of building up love for this child (which came, surprisingly naturally) I asked Josh what he would think of us adopting Anna if she fit really well into our family.

"No."

Okay. Got it. Thank you for bringing me back to reality. We're just hosting. Just helping an orphan over Christmas. It's temporary. We can't do anything more than temporary.

With that in mind, I kept the adoption idea pushed aside, but for some reason, it kept creeping up on me. We have some dear friends who are adopting from Eastern Europe and I've always admired their love for the fatherless. Adoption has always been something in the far back corner of my mind... so I wasn't surprised it was a thought that kept coming back to me... and it did... it just kept coming back.

Just out of curiosity (because we've never looked into adoption, knew nothing about how it worked, have ever had interest in it, etc...) I called the adoption agency to find out more about Anna. Was she even available for international adoption? What are the costs involved? Were we even eligible?

I don't even remember our entire conversation. I just remember her saying, "Ukraine has a 15-year age-gap requirement."
Huh?
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She elaborated. Ukraine requires both parents to be 15 years older than the child they are pursuing for adoption. Sometimes they can make it happen if only one parent is only 15 years older...

For the first time in my life, I wished I was older. I fell one year short of this age gap and my husband is younger than me.

I guess that settles that.

I told Josh about how I called the agency because I was curious, informed him of the age-gap law... and we left it at that. God just wanted us to host this child.

Nevertheless, I was building a strong bond with this picture. This girl I'd never met before. This child who needed security, love... family.
I was starting to wish that family could be us.

Express Fundraising... God's Way

We're going to host an orphan for Christmas.
We're going to host an orphan for Christmas and we need to raise money.
We're going to host an orphan for Christmas and we need to raise... a lot of money.

Though I understand that "a lot" of money is a relative term for this hosting (because for many people who adopt... $3500 is just another installment of their sometimes $30,000 and up to raise) it was nothing less than daunting. Don't get me wrong, I believed that God would provide... but I also knew I'd have to work my little tootsie off for the next month.

First order of business: Make People Aware!
My last blog talked about how on October 31st when we signed up, I was already trying to figure out how we would fund-raise... well, my Facebook confirms that.
First thing I did was post her picture and said, "We'd like to introduce you to our Anna (well, for Christmas at least)! More information soon... but we just wanted you to meet her first!"
That was the start of a Facebook fundraising effort that has pretty much continued to this day. (I'm sorry, Facebook friends! I don't mean to continually bombard you with this begging!) Anyway, I let people know what we were planning on doing. I asked people what some good fundraising ideas were and I got rolling.

One of the ideas I got (and tweaked a little) was a $10 in 10 Facebook event. I didn't think this would be extremely successful, but God had other plans. We just invited ALL our friends to this event where we explained what we were doing and asked people to donate $10. We wanted to see how much we could raise in 10 days. I was constantly on Facebook and the Internet. I was keeping track of who was "joining," replying to messages from people, setting up a Paypal account (bringorphanshome@gmail.com --- just sayin'), and just constantly, well... bugging people. I'm not usually one to ask for money... except from my mom... for coffee... every so often... but that doesn't count. I had to really step out of my comfort zone and realize that people actually wanted to help! People wanted to be part of this extraordinary ministry we were going to be part of over Christmas! People wanted to encourage us and be involved. This was huge. I have never... ever... EVER... seen God's hand so evidently at work through His people - quite like I did during the early fundraising days! Within 10 days... we had raised well over $800. Knocked nearly $1000 down in the first 10 days.
.... how do I not praise God for such amazing handy-work!? We had friends and family all over the place donating $10 here, $20 there, $10 here, and sometimes, oftentimes, even more! That's God. We were in awe.

Meanwhile, I wasn't sleeping much the way it was... so I decided I would start another project. This way, when the 10 days were up, I'd have another project to announce!
I work at a magnificent hotel and we have another property near by (same brand) that had conference rooms. I asked the GM of that hotel if I could use a conference room for a silent auction....... for free.
As I sat in her office, biting my lip, praying that she'd say yes...
God's hand moved again.
Not only could I use the room for free because I was an employee of the hotel I work at (and she happened to be a former boss of mine)... She also offered to donate a free night from that hotel to be auctioned off!
After I picked my jaw up from the floor and stopped staring blankly wondering if I had just imagined that or if that was reality... I realized God had just given me another amazing opportunity! We just had to plan the day.
I'll admit... I was lacking sleep... and I didn't look at my calender very closely... I just knew that November 30th was open for us... one of the very few evenings that was open... as I told her the date we were thinking (and hoping)... I peeked at her calender of events and noticed it was super full... SUPER full... except for November 30th... which 'happened' to be completely and utterly empty.

Okay God... what are you up to?
By this point... I had no doubt that Anna would be with us for Christmas... and it was TOTALLY something God wanted to have happen. But why!?

Next up - asking local businesses to donate for the silent auction.
This part was actually much MUCH easier than I thought it would be. My boss gave us a free night at the hotel I work at, and he suggested I make a pamphlet up to give to businesses when I tell them about what we are doing. That being said, I went home, made a pamphlet, had it printed at digicopy, and off I went! With my 2-year-old in hand, and a strange determination - I traveled around my local city and the connecting city's businesses to ask for donations for days and days. Some people required me to write down what I was doing, some just took the pamphlet, and some just gave me things on the spot! I ventured over to the local Christian radio station where I know the manager and asked him if perhaps he could help us out with some advertising... He was happy to help! Not only that but he gave us some Veggie Tales movies, a CD, and the Monumental DVD to add to our growing collection of auction items!

Ummm, God... this is too good to be true... THANK YOU... but I'm a bit confused why you're making this so easy?

Meanwhile, I started making jewelry. I started with cute bottlecap necklaces. They didn't take up too much of my time to make - and they really were cute!! I thought, maybe - MAYBE someone would want to buy these to help with fundraising... I sold over 50 of them! I also started doing necklace and earring sets... and since have branched out. All that being said... It was just another way to bring in just a little more for our hosting fees!

The days up to the auction are a mess of blurry movement... I have no idea how I did anything. I think I was on about 3 hours of sleep a night, a high dosage of coffee, and adrenaline that sustained me till the auction was over. There were so many people that were willing to help with this event and I was blessed by their willingness to serve. Ladies from my mother-in-law's workplace baked cookies and bars and donated them so we'd have goodies to eat! The hotel donated their coffee. Our mini-church friends helped us set up, tear down, play live piano music, and oversee my jewelry table. We were overwhelmed by the response we had from the help!
The night arrived and we had fewer turn out than we were expecting. God knew who needed to be there and sent them... it was a success! With over 40 items up for auction, we sold everything and raised around $1500 from that one event!

God... this is amazing... but I'm so tired, I think I'm going to fall over.
With that, God replied - "Rest"

December 1st was the next day.
NEW HORIZONS TRAINING DAY!!
Yeah, planned that one great. Remember how I said I didn't check my calendar real close? Yup. We were out of the hotel around 10pm and up the next morning around 4:30am to head off to Chicago. Thank the Lord we were not driving. I think our bodies ached just from the lack of sleep... but we met up with all the other hosting families and took one vehicle down to Chicago together.
Rest.
The meeting was actually rejuvenating. It caused us to refocus on our reason for fundraising. We were informed of many issues we could face, and were getting prepared mentally and spiritually for this endeavor.
Rest.
We were meeting together with many like-minded people who had a desire to help children with no families. We met a few new people and made some great new friends.

After the auction and the $10 in 10... we had raised around $2300. We wanted to raise $3500 to cover some of the costs of Anna's stay... but we were really most concerned with raising at LEAST $3000.

But I really felt like I needed to rest from the fundraising.
We paid the rest of our host fees with our credit card and trusted that the Lord would provide the rest.

God, you told me to rest... I'm nervous to slow down... but I'll trust you.And then HE proved Himself faithful - again.
We were interviewed by the local news station which was amazing to get the word out about New Horizons.
People would walk up to us at church, show up at our door step, and mail would come that were various amounts... all adding up to the $3000 we absolutely needed to pay off our hosting debt.

Speechless.

God replied:

...For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.

I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine.

If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine...
Psalm 50

GOD, Facebook, a Phone Call, and a Face

This is a lengthy summary of how we came to host sweet Anna.
At the end of October I was Facebook snooping... like I usually do (beware "friends" I'm watching)! I 'happened' upon a friend's page who posted a link to New Horizons for Children. The message on her Facebook was something along the lines of... "Two families are hosting 5 children from Latvia..." and then the New Horizons for Children picture that says "The deadline for most children is November 1st!"
I don't know what it was about that post that sparked my interest... but it did. I tend to be a last-minute-quick-decision-maker... so knowing God would expect us to get involved in a ministry to help an orphan... I  knew it was something we needed to do.
Great. I'm all in.
........ now, I just have to convince Josh (my husband).
I'm glad God is actually the one that does the convincing. My husband, bless his beautiful soul, likes to dwell on decisions. So, to get him to agree to opening our home to a teenage girl, who doesn't speak English, over Christmas, was nothing next to miraculous in general... but to decide in a matter of a few hours so we'd hit the deadline... well, God would have to move mountains. He did... with a few texts and a phone call.
Though I understand that texting is not the best way to ask your husband a question of this caliber... I had in my mind that it was a simple enough question... Host orphan... don't host orphan... To me, it was a no-brainer.
Here was my text:
9:17am
"...Kind of a random question... Would you be interested in hosting a Ukrainian or Latvian orphan child for the month of December? I think it would be an amazing opportunity for us to do some ministering to a child. I just read about it today... and today is pretty much the deadline... Can you respond ASAP so I can at least start the pre-application if you'd be interested?"  
..... "It's only for a month"
............"The program allows orphans to experience Christmas with a family"
......."How old were you when you got saved?" (Confession... I had already started the pre-application!! :) But since it didn't bind us to anything, I didn't think there was any harm in that)

His response:
9:58am
"I will call you on my lunch break"

My response:
9:58am
"Can you call now?"

His response:
9:58am
"Sorry can't"

Can you believe I had to wait all the way until 11ish to hear back from him!!! Didn't he realize the importance and urgency of this!? :) Well, lunch time came and we talked. There was a little convincing that had to be done - mostly because it costs money... to us, a lot of money. Basically, $3,000 to start with and then those extra things we were unaware of... which, ended up being a little more than we expected... but nothing too extreme. From moment #1 when I saw the post on Facebook, I had complete peace about the financial aspect of this adventure. I know it was God-given... because I have a tendency to really worry about money issues. Josh asked how we were going to afford it... and I said, "God will provide." With everything in me... I believed it. I told him we'd fund-raise (something I've never really done before). I felt incredibly uncomfortable asking people for money. Though, this was something I knew a lot of people did... and I knew it was vital to our hosting. It was just going to have to happen.

Other than money, he was concerned about our 3-year-old son and how he would adapt, and the language barrier (and rightly so).

Surprisingly though, he didn't take long to make a decision.
"Well, if we can raise the money (we had 1 month to raise about $3500)... I think it would be a good experience."

Giddy inside, I hung up and finished filling out the pre-application... and IMMEDIATELY started thinking of ways I was going to get fundraising!

I could do a dinner party, I could make something and sell it on eBay, I could... LOADS of ideas... not many that were practical or possible within a 30-day period. Okay... maybe I just have to tell people what we're doing... and just ASK them for money. ... That's a very humbling experience... but a huge blessing as well!

Meanwhile... a lovely lady from New Horizons gave me a call and we talked. She asked me a few questions to verify who I was, our interest in hosting, and went over some of the general information. I could have talked to her for hours! The coordinators at New Horizons are amazing people. They are so dedicated to their work and their mission - and it is all voluntary! They are committed to the well-being of these children in such magnanimous ways! All I can say is - Praise the Lord for such servants! So, I talked to her for a little while and one thing she said to me was, "It may be a bit costly, but you will see God provide in ways you never thought would be possible." What a confirmation... because really, it is about God and His provision. He owns ALL things, so why wouldn't He provide for the children He tells us to care for!? Why wouldn't He provide for servants willing and able to obey Him!? ... and He did!

There was one more aspect to this conversation and it was about "who" we would be hosting.
Prior to our conversation, I had been scrolling through all the children on the list. I had been reading their bios and falling in love with each child, each sibling group, and each person represented there that had no family to call their own. But one stuck out.

We had no intentions of adoption. We had no intentions of anything, really. We just wanted to minster to an orphan and show a child what it was like to live in a loving family - even if  it was for just a month. With that, we didn't really have a preference at first on age or gender. We didn't know ANY rules concerning adoption (especially internationally)... and quite frankly, we didn't care to know. It wasn't our intention.

So - when I saw her face - I knew she was the one for our family... for Christmas. Strangely enough, I thought she looked like my family. I saw more of my husband's side in her, but many people said she looked a lot like me. On her picture, she had a sweet smile and a tenderness about her that drew me to her instantaneously. She was the one for us.

After I saw her, I asked my husband what he would think of a teenage girl staying with us (I didn't know her age at that point)... and he was fine with it. Since I would be the one home with her the most, we thought it would be best if it was a girl. It was set... she would be our guest... our new family member... for one month. We told our coordinator and made a 'down payment' per-say to hold her specifically. No trouble. It just showed our commitment to that child.

We adjusted to the thought that our Christmas would be a bit different than usual. We were fine with the thought that we'd send her back and life would go back to "normal" after that month... and our ministry to an orphan would be over... and we'd move on. Shallow, right? Looking back, I think so too.

At that point - we had absolutely no idea how our lives would be forever altered.
We are a changed family - thanks to GOD, Facebook, a phone call, and a face.

What Has Happened!?

Since my last post, all I can come up with for a title is: "What Has Happened!"
I think about that statement being so relevant in so many ways! First, I think - "What has happened since my last post!?" Then I think, "What has happened to our family because of this amazing experience we've just been through!?" Then I wonder, "What has happened to this time!? It FLEW by!?" Finally I think, "What has happened to sweet Anna?"
Well, let me think, what has happened since my last post...
To sum that up and come back to it in another blog... We had the amazing opportunity to host Anna from Ukraine. We had a phenomenal Christmas with her. I would say her hosting was "picture perfect," and we really feel blessed. Of course, she was not perfect... but neither are we! The fact that we both saw the grace of God in our relationships made our experiences - a memory we will hold onto for the rest of our lives. Sadly, we are not able to adopt Anna because in Ukraine, parents need to be 15 years older than their child... and we fall 1 year short. Though we understand the rules, we consider her our responsibility now. We had the time of our lives with her, we really did. We had to say goodbye on January 15th and the wound from that parting is still very fresh. However, we are bound and determined to help her from this point on. More about that later on.
What has happened to our family?
We are changed.
We went into this hosting experience with no thought of adoption, no interest in adoption, and simply as a way to minister to an orphan for Christmas. In no way were we planning on coming out of it with a desire to adopt, a passion for orphans, and a spiritual revival from the Lord like we have never experienced before! By taking the leap of faith to host, we had to raise $3000 in a hurry. In fact, we signed up to host Anna on the last day allowed to sign up! That gave us ONE MONTH... to raise $3000. My husband... skeptical. I was determined --- and with God's hand in absolutely everything --- it happened! I still marvel at HIS work!
Though we were nervous about the language barrier, God worked it out. Though we were concerned about how she would fit in our family, God worked it out. Though we were concerned about how in the world we would say goodbye... God GRACIOUSLY has helped us with this as well! Through friends, neighbors, and people we didn't even know... God has provided, helped, encouraged, and made Himself so amazingly evident in everything about this hosting experience.       Praise. Be. To. God!
We have a new passion for orphans... the Lord is working in both my husband and I in great ways in this area and we are excited to see where He leads.
As for where the time has gone...
We don't know.
It was not long enough.
We ache to spend one more day with Anna! We are praying she will find a forever family in America. We are praying that she has a future that is full and bright no matter where she is! We are praying that she will live a life that is honoring and glorifying to God. Time is going so fast and she is unadoptable SO soon! We fear that time is not in her favor... though, God is bigger than time. God controls it! So, we are trusting... and praying.
Finally, what has happened to sweet Anna?
She blossomed!
From her first picture with us, to her last picture with us - she looks like a new person!
She needs a family. Perhaps she belongs with YOUR family?

I will be giving more information about our hosting experience and more about Anna... I just had to post since it's been a while. Too long. My apologies.

For now, this is all I can write... but I will be back soon!
God Bless!!

Interested in hosting? Check it out!
NEW HORIZONS FOR CHILDREN

Just Over A Week!

In just over one week, our family will be welcoming Anna into our home! We are getting more excited as each day we get closer to picking her up from the airport!

I have been working endlessly at fundraising, preparing her room, and just getting "ready" for the things I know I can be ready for. I am excited to show you Anna's (almost finished) room! I just have a couple other things I am determined to get done... but if it doesn't happen... this is what she's going to get! If this girl loves pink the way she says she does... she might just love this room!

We had our home inspection this past Sunday and the woman was nearly in tears over this room. She mentioned that in the twelve years she has been doing inspections, she has never seen a family redo a room for someone who is just a host child. I didn't know what to say! Was I not supposed to? I can't imagine not sprucing up this room so that it is special for her - even if it is only for four weeks! For the four weeks she is here she will be able to claim a room that is her own! Not only that, but Anna will see that we paid attention to the things SHE likes and wants (probably not something that happens very often)... maybe that will open her heart towards us? Maybe her room will be a haven like she has never had before. Maybe she'll hate it. I just don't know! I feel excited and nervous every time I look at this picture! Will this room be a good fit for Anna? Even though it's only for a few weeks? I sure hope so! In just over a week, we will find out!

Please don't think I'm so superficial... her room is a fun thing to put time and effort into - but trust me... that is not the only thing we have taken the time to prepare! We have been preparing in so many other ways as well! We understand that there will be tougher issues to face and other trials to deal with... but since we don't know what they are, we just pray that God gives us the wisdom to handle them correctly when the time comes. We are praying for Anna as she prepares her mind and heart to come here. We have been in constant preparation through prayer since we started this journey... and I don't think it will end anytime soon! In fact, I think it may only become more constant (if that's possible!) once she arrives! Please don't think that we think this will be some sort of fun walk in the park. If it is - FABULOUS! If it isn't - FABULOUS! With the Lord's help... we will be prepared either way and will deal with any situation as it arises!

We have been learning so many interesting things about Anna and I'm just so curious what she is thinking about us! One thing we have been told is that we should not be surprised if she just stands at the fridge with the door open - staring in to see what's inside. The concept of an endless supply of food is foreign to many of these poor children... so a fridge! Can you imagine! Another thing that we have been made aware of is that NOTHING is private! They share EVERYTHING. Again, can you imagine!? If not, let me help you... Some of these children get a pair of shoes (that may or may not fit) in the morning that are on a different kid's feet the next day. They get one outfit a week and then it could belong to another child the next week. The backpack she will be bringing with her - is probably borrowed. Nobody has their own room... nothing is their own. I can not even begin to understand this, yet for them, it's life. I just have to take a deep breath in every time I ponder these things. We have been warned - expect to be thought of as millionaires. She will think we can afford everything. Little does she know! Though, how can she not think this? We have a room that is totally empty and waiting just for her! We have a fridge that has a seemingly endless supply of food. We have space that we can call our own, clothes that only we wear, and shoes that fit... many, many shoes that fit. Materialistically, to her, we certainly "have it all." It sure does put things into perspective, doesn't it?

I count my blessings every time I think about Miss Anna. I can not wait to meet this young girl!! I want to keep talking and talking, but I fear - I'm exhausted. I guess I will have to wait until another time. Perhaps at that point, I will be telling you all about her rather than wondering what she will be like!

Until next time!

Misconceptions

October 18, 2012 By Stephanie Norman

This is a guest blog post by veteran host mom and Western/Central Great Lakes Area Regional Coordinator, Marty Shoup.

When presented with orphan hosting, one of the first questions people ask is:

“Isn’t it cruel to bring an orphan here for a few weeks, give them a taste of paradise and then send them back?”

I’ll admit, when I first heard about New Horizons, it was something I wondered about as well. Because on the surface, it DOES seem cruel. To bring them here, to the “land of plenty”… to let them experience life in a family, where there’s plenty to eat and they don’t have to worry about their safety, where they’re loved and well taken care of, where their opinions matter… only to take it all away 4 or 5 weeks later.

Recently, a gentleman emailed New Horizons founder and director, LeAnn Dakake, with this very concern. A couple he went to church with had announced that they were hosting an orphan through New Horizons and they were asking for donations to help cover hosting costs.  As is true with many new (and experienced) hosters, the family was not able to articulate many of the reasons why hosting is so beneficial to the orphaned child. They just knew it was something God was calling them to do and they were being obedient.

Because of his misconceptions, I don’t think this gentleman was inclined to help this family minister to the child they were hosting.

In her reply, LeAnn addresses this concern and visits some of the reasons why we do what we do.

“The kids that we bring are coming on a visit, or exchange type program. Many of their orphanages close during the holidays and over summer so all kids must go somewhere. They go other places like Italy, Spain, Holland, other camps in their own countries (former Soviet training camps for kids) and some go to local foster families as well. We are one of the “options” as far as the kids are told, and they are selected to come on our program after being interviewed and after we talk to their caregivers about behavior, school efforts etc. So, everyone goes out of the orphanage for the summer and in our case, we are a 5 week program, so they come here and usually return to a camp type place in their home country or start out at one and come to us from the camp. In Latvia, children are mostly in foster families as they are trying to close traditional orphanages, but the foster families are not able to care for them beyond the monthly low stipend and in many cases, they don’t have indoor plumbing and are very rural with little access to anything for the children to do outside of school or off the farm (most are on farms).

Our program shows children what it’s like to be fully and unconditionally loved in a Christian family. It is an experience that many would never have in their lives. Even in most of the foster families, the foster parents are “workers” and do not treat orphans as their own children. They do this due to culture, poverty and also to keep up some wall as they know they cannot provide for a permanent situation even if they so desired. In addition to the ministry aspects of the program, the kids come and gain a new language. Most learn as much English in 4-5 weeks here as they would in a good English class in their schools over 4-5 years. Latvia is a part of the European Union as well and in that, residents are able to move and work in other EU countries. But Latvian is a language that no other country speaks or uses, and English is a very common language in all. So, that alone, would be a good “tool” to give kids now to help them later. However, many of the children who come are also eligible for adoption and after being hosted, about 65% of the eligible children are adopted into a forever and unconditional loving Christian family. Besides participating in a program like ours, they have literally 0-1% chance of ever being considered for adoption through a traditional process. Latvia doesn’t place children under about age 9 as available for adoption unless they have medical issues or are part of sibling sets. And, most families who consider  adopting would not just send a dossier (family adoption package) to Latvia asking for a preteen or teenager sight unseen. So, this does offer them a lot of possibilities beyond just a visit to a nice family in America. Also, most children who are older and have aged out for adoption who come, are learning enough English they can be considered to return on a student visa, which Latvia allows if we find sponsors.

Surprisingly, most families who host do not intend to adopt the child they bring. Most consider it as helping a poor orphan child and being sacrificial towards that child- a missions trip for their family where they can still live at home. However, in the end, many families do decide they want to adopt or they have friends through church, neighbors etc who meet the child and decide to adopt. Nearly all families say they went into it to bless a child and come out of it feeling like they received the blessing. On the other side, when I talk to children after they have been fully adopted and live in The US, none of them state that on returning to their home country they felt like they were being ripped out of a glorious land and placed into poverty. It was a trip to remember and they returned “home”. When they were offered adoption later, since we don’t speak of it on the host program, they were in most cases, shocked and it took a great deal of thinking to consider it real and accept it.

So, in the end, if a child who comes on the program has even 10% chance of being helped through one of these purposes, where they had 0% if they didn’t come; should we decide not to do this, or to do this for them as much as possible? And, that 10% is in reality, much greater for each child who participates…more like 99% gain something important from the program whether it’s Salvation, family, language or love.

Lastly, it is interesting to consider that the kids don’t have such the expected “trauma” after having to go back as one would assume. In fact, I have traveled with some of the groups all the way back home and each program I travel with them through security to the plane after we depart parents at the airport in Atlanta. The kids look at this as a vacation. Once they separate from their 4-5 week family, they refocus on friends after we get through security and find familiarity in them. “They are going home”. It is told to them and explained as such and being their “homes” are in Latvia and Ukraine, they don’t expect to stay forever. The things that we see as extreme poverty and necessary things we have to have in life to live… just aren’t seen that way when it’s what you know and come to accept as “life and home”. We are “Disney World” and no one expects to live at Disney World. In fact, there are some kids who go back, are offered adoption and say no. For Americans, many things we deem necessary to live comfortably, they see it as waste and extreme, even greed and ugly wealth at times. After traveling myself twice a year, to where they live, I tend to feel their viewpoint at times too.  Not having running water in a house doesn’t mean it isn’t a comfortable home that provides attention and a sense of belonging. Safety and security of the “known” is there and that is number one on what humans need in order to consider what things are important. I suppose, considering where they were prior to the orphanages, streets and foster families, which is something none of us has had to see or endure, where they are now is a welcome version of “home”…just not what you and I would think of or ever consider as sufficient to be home. Consider the show Little House on the Prairie? They had little and felt like they had everything. These kids are similar, except they don’t have the “family” and that’s what we aim to offer them.

So, I hope this helps you to see the benefits far outweigh the negatives and also, the “craziness” of a new world is something exciting to experience for all of them. Flying on an airplane is a ride at the amusement park…and in some cases, riding everywhere in a car instead of going by metro or by foot is something they really dislike. So, they perceive it much differently from how we see it.

God bless you and your family for considering joining us as we minister to orphans and coming on this journey with your friends.”

I hope it changed his mind.
And if the same thought has scampered through your head, I hope it changes your mind as well.

What A Blessing!

It has been really awesome to see the individual things God has been doing for each of the families who are hosting. I have been part of a Facebook group with other families that are hosting children. There have been so many amazing examples of how God has specifically provided for them as they do their fundraising. Some families have two or more children and have so much more to raise than we do! It literally causes me to be speechlessly in awe. All that seems to come out is WOOOOOW. Examples of how a family needed $400 more than expected and then someone sends a check in the mail because of something totally unrelated... that happens to be for $400. Situations where things "just happened" at "the right time."
I have seen God work before, but I've never personally seen Him work so globally before. As I said in my last post, God wants Anna here. We understand that during the time she is here will face challenges - language barriers, emotional issues, and who knows what else... yet we are nothing but thrilled to have this opportunity to be serving the Lord. It is fun watching Him work right now just with the fundraising... We simply can't wait to see how He works in each child's life once they arrive. I'm already praising God in anticipation for what He is going to do... and I'm CERTAIN there will be many MANY more "WOW" moments!

One Month!

It is officially one month from this day that we will be welcoming Anna to our home! I am so eager that it feels like that day will never come. Though, I have so much to accomplish that I feel like she'll be here tomorrow and I won't be able to get everything done in time!

One thing that I just can't thank the Lord enough for is that we have been so blessed as we prepare for our silent auction fundraiser. Everything seems to just be "working out." Of course, we know that it has nothing to do with coincidence and everything to do with God's greatness and provision. We have a nice list of things that will be auctioned and the donors seem to keep coming. I had two businesses call me yesterday with gifts to auction! I am humbled and in awe of God's hand in all this. He wants Anna here.

As we prepare our hearts and home for Anna, we are preparing her living space as well! Yesterday we cleared some things out of the spare room and got her bed made with her PINK fleece sheets (it gets cold here), her PINK pillows, and her PINK comforter!! She said her dream was to have a room that was all pink... that is one dream we can most certainly fulfill!! Though we won't be painting the walls... she's probably going to change her favorite color after all the pink she'll be bombarded with here. :)

This girl is so stuck in my heart and mind. It's such a strange feeling. I don't know this girl but by a picture and a few things that she likes... but I feel like I've had her in my life forever and I'll be welcoming back a lost child. I know that her perspective will be completely different than mine, but perhaps the Lord is preparing her heart as well. We pray for her each night and I love her so much already! I understand it will not be all smiles and happiness the entire time she is here, but I understand that she needs us and because of that, I'm ready to plunge into the difficult stuff too. I want to help her so much. I want her to feel loved, secure, and "at home" here, even though it will only be temporary. Though I know, in the end, I will have to say goodbye... all my walls are down and I'm preparing for the heartache of the "goodbye."

All we know is that God has put this darling girl in our lives... and we are not letting her go. Though when she returns to her country we will not be with her in person... she is now and forever in our hearts, our minds, our prayers, and our lives. Hopefully our involvement in her life will change the typical statistics for a girl in her situation. It sickens me to think that she could potentially end up in prostitution... or worse, end up committing suicide. I just beg God that we can be the tool He uses in her life to change that. Oh God, may we PLEASE be the ones to help change that.

Who Will Care For Them?

What a day! It's 2:00 AM and I've just finished getting a new website put up.

www.bringorphanshome.com

I want to make sure there is a place we can send people when we start telling them about what Josh and I are doing this winter. It's hard to ask people for financial support, so perhaps we will feel better if we can direct people there for more information!

I spent quite a bit of time today talking to a friend (who is also part of this host program) and I continually learn more each day about orphans. Children. Children with no families. It's easy not to think about them, really. Until now. We have been made aware of these children who are in such need of love and attention that, I believe, might have started us down a road we never even knew existed... but has fully captured us.